Hey Roomie!
by becca85
Summary: Who would have thought that a simple pipe burst could turn into all of this?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For anyone who has been following my stories, it should come as no surprise that here is yet another Don and Danny comedy. For those of you who haven't, read "The End of the World As We Know It," "The Best of Friends," or "Shooting Hoops," I should state that I love the friendship and camaraderie that exists between those two men and I love writing off-hours stories about them (my definition of "off-hours" means the primary plot line has no direct connection to their work or cases or anything and may only be referred to as an aside). I don't know how long this is going to go for, and I'm not going to make any promises about how often I'll update, but I do promise that I will finish it. Nothing irks me more than amazing story starts that authors never finish, which is why I rarely start reading anything that isn't marked complete to begin with. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters or ideas created by Anthony Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn and Ann Donahue. I borrowed them for the entertainment and amusement of my audience. **

**SUMMARY: Who would have thought that a simple pipe burst could turn into all of this?**

**GENRE: Dramedy**

**RATING: PG-13**

**DEDICATION: To afrozenheart412, for writing the FML that inspired this piece. _And_ for being such a dedicated reviewer of my stories. I never really realized how many stories you read and reviewed until I went back and looked at them. You're amazing!**

**DATE: August 9, 2012**

**::~*~::**

Danny tossed his bag onto Don's couch and groaned as he collapsed next to it, almost ready to jump back up when he feared getting swallowed up in the sagging couch. Finally, the couch settled, albeit a little lower than Danny would have liked, but he was too tired to truly care. Rubbing his hands vigorously over his face, he could feel the stubble that was starting to appear. _Great! One more thing to add to my laundry list of things to do. Why did this have to happen to me now, of all times?_ Leaning back, he closed his eyes in exhaustion, heedless of the uncomfortable position he was rapidly falling asleep in.

**::~*~::**

_Danny hadn't been home in thirty-six hours, choosing to work two back-to-back shifts, with overtime and a couple of hours of sleep on the break room couch in between. He was looking forward to his day off, wanting to catch the end of the Rangers game that was on TV and catch up on some serious sleep. He didn't want to set foot out of his apartment until his next shift._

_Whistling along to the tune that was playing on his mp3 player, he parked his motorcycle in its spot and shuffled down the stairs to his basement apartment. Checking the time on his phone as he set it to silent, he was relatively pleased to see that he had about thirty minutes of the game left. He had missed most of it, but usually the best parts were in the last few minutes, anyways, when the losing side started getting desperate._

_"Hey, Danny," a female voice called down the stairs to him. With his key halfway to the lock, he spun around, flashing his smile at the young woman who was standing at the top of the stairs. _

_"Hey, Kourtney," he replied. He had had a thing for Kourtney since he had moved in, but had quickly discovered that she had a boyfriend. Not just your typical boyfriend, either, but a tree trunk with legs and a pea-sized brain. Danny rubbed his jaw unconsciously, remembering how he had learned the hard way that she was unavailable. She had immediately taken pity on him after the roughing up he had endured at the hands of her boyfriend and had quickly befriended him, flashing smiles his way, and saying "hi" when they passed in the mail room or outside of the building. Danny had decided that she wasn't worth the physical pain associated with trying to hookup with her, but, because she had extended the hand of friendship, he had remained cordial with her, even escalating to a little flirting in the mail room when he was sure Tree Trunk wasn't lurking._

_"How was your day?"_

_Climbing back up a few steps, he said, "Honestly, it was a blur. Thirty-six hours straight, with only a three hour nap somewhere in the middle."_

_Looking appropriately shocked, she exclaimed, "That's horrible! I'll let you go so that you can get some sleep."_

_She turned away to go up to her apartment and Danny had half a mind to call her back to chat some more, but he realized he was so close to falling asleep on his feet, that he wouldn't be able to keep up any sort of a conversation with her. He doubted he would even make it to the end of the game._

_Shoving the key in the lock, he turned it and opened the door._

**::~*~::**

_Water rushed out of the open door, flowing around his feet and rushing to lap against the bottom step of the stairs. The shock of the cold water permeating his recently dry shoes, jolted him to an alertness he hadn't felt for at least thirty hours. Swearing in frustration, he almost didn't want to turn on the lights to see the extent of the damage, but he had to, especially since he could still hear water gushing somewhere in his apartment. _

_The sight that met his eyes sent him into a litany of curses. His entire apartment was buried under at least four inches of water, that might have been rapidly rising but for the now open door. Sloshing through the mess, he followed the sound of the gushing water to his bedroom._

_"Oh, man!" he punched his fist against the wall. Despite the obviously weak structure that was allowing water to pour from a burst pipe through the ceiling and into the ocean that was now his bed, the wall resisted the force of his hand, leaving him to clutch it in pain against his chest while the wall stayed hole free. _

_Pulling out his cell phone, he tried in vain to contact his landlord, but after three fruitless tries, he called the water company emergency line and spent a further ten minutes demanding that they shut the water off to the building. He really didn't care what the other tenants thought, though an image of Kourtney flashed across his mind. He grudgingly had to admit that salvaging whatever was salvageable of his possessions was a smidge more important than whether or not she'd be able to brush her teeth, or wash her dishes, or even take a shower..._

_He shook himself out of that specific daydream, and started the endless task of grabbing water-logged stuff off the floor to place on shelves or tables or anywhere else that would get them out of the way of the lake he was presently standing in. _That's what I get for going price over quality, _he thought morosely. _Never again!

_After fifteen minutes of lifting things off of the floor and putting them up higher, he was dismayed to realize that the gushing noise in the background still hadn't ceased. Getting back on the phone, he spent yet another ten minutes arguing with the same guy he had talked to before and then five more minutes arguing with the guy's boss, even going so far as to threaten some kind of lawsuit. Within two minutes the water stopped. Within twenty minutes, he could hear the start of the angry shouts from his neighbors upstairs. _

_Furious beyond belief, he grabbed a pile of sopping clothes off of the floor and threw them into his gym bag after ringing out as much water as possible. Trudging thru the standing water, he stormed out of his apartment, attempting to slam the door behind him, which was easier said than done with four inches of standing water in the way. _

_Starting up the stairs, he held the number two button on his phone and soon heard the familiar ringing in his ears. Not paying particular attention to his surroundings, he almost walked right into Kourtney. _

_"Hey, Danny," she said brightly. "I don't know what happened to the water in my apartment, but I was just trying to fill up my water purifier and I was wondering if your water was—" she trailed off, clearly noticing the anger on his face and sopping wet bottoms of his jeans. Biting her lip, she asked, "Is everything okay?"_

_"'Is everything okay'" he repeated, hanging up his phone on Don's voice-mail. He picked up a loose stone from the ground and chucked it down the darkened stairs. Instead of the expected clatter as it hit the concrete, there was a very distinct _plunk. _"My apartment is flooded and it took me almost an hour to get the idiots at the water company to turn off the water, so the broken pipe over my bed would quit making the water level rise." He hadn't meant to take out his frustration on her, but it ended up just spilling forth. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. As you can probably understand, this whole situation is pissing me off. Between my lack of sleep and now the flooding, I'm not very fit company."_

_Completely sympathetic to his situation, she quickly offered the use of her couch for a little nap, but he reminded her of her boyfriend and what he might do to Danny if he even smelled him in her apartment. Blushing deeply, she agreed with his assessment and asked if there was anything else she could possibly do to help him._

_"I'm trying to get a hold of my buddy and see if I can crash with him for a few days, but since he's not answering, I was going to find a laundromat to dry the clothes I managed to liberate from a watery doom." She laughed at his poor attempt at humor, which he figured was a good sign for him, since it meant he had somewhat accepted the situation and was trying to laugh it away. "I better get going."_

_"Of course," she said. She turned to go back into the small building and Danny watched her go. A chill ran down his spine, but not immediately recognizing what it could be from, he turned around and was about to head off to his motorcycle when his eyes met a thick, burly chest directly in front of him. Slowly raising them, he grimaced as his eyes met Tree Trunk's angry ones. "Hey, my old sparring partner," he replied, cheekily. _Did I just say that out loud?! I must really want to die today!_ Eyes widening as he realized his potentially fatal error, he quickly ducked out of reach of the bigger man and bolted to his motorcycle, tossing his bag over his back._

_Starting it up, he was shooting off up the road before Tree Trunk could apprehend him. _That's what I get for three hours of sleep in thirty-six grueling hours.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: I kind of like the fact that Danny doesn't know Kourtney's boyfriend's name and keeps referring to him as Tree Trunk. Before I get jumped by all of the DnL fans, let me say that I haven't narrowed down the timeline of this story, so Lindsay may not even be in the picture yet. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: In my story, "The End of the World As We Know It," we got a glimpse of the Messer apartment, so in this story I decided to do it the other way around and now we can catch glimpses of Don's apartment. Since the whole point of these stories is to focus on the friendship between the two guys, I don't focus a lot of attention on the description of the apartments, so it won't be a detailed account of every nook and cranny of Don's apartment. Imagine it how you want it to be.**

**::~*~::**

_He had passed two laundromats in his effort to escape, but as he meandered down the streets of Manhattan, he decided to go track Don down. Realistically, he knew he could just show up on Don's doorstep and the guy would let him crash for a few nights, but he also knew that Don wasn't even home as he had pulled the graveyard shift that night. _

_Danny had pulled over once on the drive to try and call Don again, but, as before, it eventually sent him to voice-mail. Shaking his head in irritation, he could feel the long fingers of sleep stretching forth to ensnare him. The adrenaline rush from his flooded apartment had grabbed sleep by the horns and thrown it right out the window, but now that it was past, he could feel fatigue crashing back in twice as strong. He needed to find somewhere to crash and soon. Aiden was out of town, otherwise she would be his next call, and he felt weird about even considering Mac, Stella and Dr. Hawkes. He wasn't as close to the latter three, especially Mac at the moment. _

_Pulling up in front of Don's precinct, he hopped off the bike, noticing for the first time since the twenty minute drive began, how weak he was from exhaustion. Needing to hold on to the bike for a few minutes longer, he waited for strength to return to his legs before strolling into the sparsely populated precinct. _

_Don wasn't at his desk and Danny didn't think sitting down would be the best idea at the moment. With the clearance his badge gave him to walk through the precinct unhindered, he headed to the soda machine in the break room. Selecting a soda that he knew to be high in caffeine, he choked it down, disliking the fact that he had to resort to staying awake even longer. _

_Pacing around the precinct, he started drawing the attention of the few officers that were on duty. About ready to lash out at the next person who looked at him wrong, he ended up overhearing one of the officers on the phone, presumably with Don, telling him he should get down to the precinct "before your buddy does something that results in getting tased." Danny was about to take insult to that, until he thought, _Whatever gets Don here any sooner.

_Once the caffeine kicked in to the point where Danny felt safe sitting down without falling asleep, he took up residence at Don's station, kicking his feet up on the desk. Suppressing a yawn, he looked at his watch. _One-thirty.

_"Get your feet off my desk," Don growled, shoving Danny's feet off the desk before collapsing into a nearby chair. Don looked at Danny, puzzled. "You look like Death. I know thirty-six hours is a nightmare, but you look no better than Hawkes' metal slab companions." The corners of his mouth turned up in a barely hidden smile at Danny's expense._

_Danny feigned a look of hurt, before getting straight to the point. His energy boost wouldn't last very long. "My apartment's flooded."_

_Don immediately went into "concerned friend" mode. Danny had just passed up a golden opportunity to sling an insult back at him, so he knew that his friend wasn't lying. "How bad?"_

_"Four inches." Don let out a low whistle. "I'm going to have to make a list of the stuff that needs replacing, but I just can't deal with all of that right now. I'm about ready to crash and burn as it is."_

_Don leaned back in his chair, far enough to flirt with potential disaster, before answering. "Understandable. I expect you're actually looking for a place to crash."_

_Danny smiled such a tired-looking smile that Don realized his friend wouldn't be able to make it home without help. "That would be great, Don. Just for tonight, though. I'll go find a motel or something tomorrow."_

_"Absolutely not!" Don replied, getting to his feet. Motioning Danny to his feet, he quickly put out a hand to steady his swaying friend, before grabbing his keys out of his desk drawer. "The last thing you need to worry about is shelling out money for a room when you're already going to be shelling out money for furniture."_

_Danny, still swaying, mumbled, "Isn't that what insurance is for?"_

_Propelling Danny out of the building in front of him, Don said, "You'll be lucky if you can get enough insurance money out of them to pay for the necessities." Once outside, Don had to physically guide Danny towards his car instead of the motorcycle parked off to the side. "Not tonight, buddy. I really don't want to have to follow you in an hour to scrape you off the bottom of some car because you decided to fall asleep on your bike."_

_Danny shrugged off his friend's hand. "I can handle it. I think I know how to drive, thank you very much." Regardless, he didn't put up much of a struggle as Don pushed him into the car, hurrying around to the other side before Danny had a chance to crawl back out. _

_Starting up the car and pulling out into traffic, Don grinned at his friend. "Have I ever told you how extreme exhaustion makes you act and sound drunk? It's quite the entertaining show."_

_Danny made the attempt to glare across the car at Don, but it came out making him look incredibly ill._

_They weren't in traffic for two minutes before Danny plastered his head against the window as he finally surrendered to sleep, coincidentally sparing him from hearing the occasional wisecrack remarks from his driver._

**::~*~::**

_"I really shouldn't, but this opportunity simply cannot be passed up," Don mumbled to himself, shifting from side to side as he looked for the best angle. He had pulled up outside of his building just moments before, but, instead of waking Danny, who, by this time, was snoring up a storm, he silently crept out of the car and around to the passenger side. Hitting the capture button on his phone, he got a couple of excellent blackmail pictures. "Perfect!" He wasn't cruel enough to use the pictures or even let Danny know of their existence for the time being, but he would definitely let their presence be known at some point down the road. _

_Slipping his phone into his pocket, he knocked sharply on the window. Danny jumped so fast that Don was afraid he would shoot out the driver side door and into traffic. Looking around in confusion, it took a moment for Danny to remember where he was and why he was there. Wiping the miniscule amount of drool off of the corner of his mouth, he crawled out of the vehicle. _

_"Home-sweet-home-away-from-home!" Don announced dramatically. Danny just rolled his eyes as he followed Don into the building. Up three flights of stairs, Don was unlocking the door when his phone went off. Stepping aside, he waited for Danny to enter the apartment as he turned away to answer the call. Not hearing any movement, he turned back to Danny to find the guy leaning against the wall, eyes closed, once again, in slumber. Punching him in the shoulder to wake him up again, he shoved him through the door._

_Finishing his call, he turned to Danny who was now leaning against the kitchen counter, though quite alert after the physical abuse. "I've gotta run. There's a DB on the other side of town. Get some sleep, will ya?" He slapped Danny on the shoulder, before turning to leave. "I think Mac's got the call for this one. You want me to tell him what happened?"_

_Danny shook his head, vaguely wondering how it could still be attached to his neck as a foggy sensation was rapidly filling his brain. Painstakingly, he strung some words together. "I'll...I'll call him to...tomorrow," followed by an incredible yawn._

_"Seriously, though, go to sleep," Don said as he started back out the door. Danny was mildly relieved to hear concern in Don's voice, though he realized if Don was being sincere, Danny had to look corpse-like in his appearance. Suppressing another yawn, he waved goodbye to Don. After a couple of minutes, Danny, realizing he was still standing and ready to just crash, stumbled over to the couch to collapse onto it._

**::~*~::**

At five in the morning, when Don's shift was over, he went back to his apartment to get some sleep himself before his next shift started at two in the afternoon. Heedful of Danny's slumber, he silently entered the apartment to be greeted by his best friend, half on and half off of the couch in a most intriguing position. Stifling his laughter, he decided that if they were in college, he'd be breaking out the shaving cream and warm water and wreaking havoc on his friend's sanity.

Chuckling to himself, he slipped quietly from the living room to his bedroom where he fell, fully clothed, across the bedspread and fell fast asleep.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: Seriously, what is it about writing the word **_**yawn **_**that causes me to actually do it so much? Anyways, I've been in a creative lurch for the last couple of days, so it took me longer to finish this chapter than it should have. Now that I've come full circle and we're back to where I started, I can move on to the fun stuff. I have a couple of ideas in mind, but I hope to see where this story takes me. **

**I have yet to determine if I should give Danny an excuse to buy his billiard table. Should he? I'm pretty certain that the apartment Danny moves into at the conclusion of my story here, will be the apartment we see in Snow Day, so I'm trying to decide if I should dedicate a chapter to billiard table shopping or just make a passing reference. What do the readers request?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I realized, as I read back over some of the dialogue, I am making Don a real jerk in some spots, which is weird, because he's my current heartthrob. I guess it's because he's always good for some comic relief and it just doesn't feel right to have Danny intentionally add comic relief at this point, except as the butt of a joke or something. Maybe after they've been roomies for a couple of days...**

**P.S. I decided to insert the photographic evidence a little sooner than I originally planned, as there was a golden opportunity for it.**

**::~*~::**

Danny woke up around noon to the sound of bacon frying in a pan. Briefly disoriented and alarmed that someone had broken into his apartment and was now cooking, he opened his eyes and made an attempt to sit up quickly. Unfortunately, with the way his body had draped over the couch, he ended up rolling off of the couch and into a coffee table he didn't remember being there. Don's choking laughter echoed from the kitchen and Danny popped his eyes over the top of the table to eyeball his tormentor across the room, finally letting everything sink in. _At least justice was served,_he thought as he watched Don trying to stop choking on the mouthful of bread he had been chewing. He wasn't turning blue, so Danny felt no need to rush to his aid. Instead, he struggled to a standing position, still feeling incredibly tired, but also feeling the misery coming back from the previous evening. _As if my life wasn't stressful enough!_

Don, impeccably dressed for work already, finally regained control of his airway and continued cooking...brunch? Danny wasn't entirely sure why Don was cooking bacon and eggs in the middle of the afternoon, but he shrugged it off. To his hungry stomach, food was food.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Don cheerfully announced. Danny wanted to punch him, but he resisted the urge. He was genuinely jealous of how refreshed and laid-back Don was this morning. Spiraling into the depths of his despair, he couldn't come to grips with the fact that not everyone else in the world was as depressed as he was. His lease was up in another month, but he figured if he fought hard enough, he could get out of that last month, but it still left him with the question of where he was going to live—and how he was going to furnish a new apartment.

Don tossed some eggs, bacon and toast onto a plate and waved it under Danny's nose. He smirked when he got the desired result—Danny's stomach roared like a caged lion. "Eat up."

"Who are you? My mother?" Danny replied between shovelfuls of food. "_'Go to sleep.' 'Eat some food,'_" he mimicked.

"In case you've forgotten, we've got a long standing appointment with a couple of basketball hoops at ten tonight, and I _was _going to let you off, considering last night, but I think you need to take your mind off of everything with an hour of sweat and physical pain. Especially since you'll probably spend all of today freaking out about it anyways." Don downed the last drops of his coffee, before filling the mug up again. "So, you're going to be there at nine-fifty-nine sharp or I'm going to show everyone at the lab photographic evidence of you making out with my car window last night." He dangled his phone in front of Danny's face, while Danny popped the last bite of toast into his mouth.

"I have no idea to what you're referring," he managed to say around the toast. Grabbing a clean mug out of the dish drainer, he filled it up with the remaining coffee.

"Oh, really," Don said. Turning the phone around, he flipped through a few screens before finding the one he wanted. Danny's face turned white as he saw the picture Don had pulled up on his phone.

"You wouldn't dare!"

Don didn't respond, but he raised his eyebrows in that "Try me" expression.

Danny swore. "Really? Don't you have one considerate bone in your body?"

"Of course, I do. That's why I'm insisting you come shoot hoops tonight. It's for your own good. Plus, you should be grateful that's the only pose I got of you. I could have put an album together with you sprawled across my couch and falling asleep against the wall out there," he nodded his head towards the outer hallway.

Danny groaned. _I'm never agreeing to work another thirty-six hours straight again. Mac can intimidate someone else._ Danny immediately regretted that last thought. Mac hadn't intimidated or bullied him into anything. He was just trying to show Mac how dedicated he was to his job, especially since he had screwed up so much in the past year. Deep down, Danny knew that if another thirty-six hour shift came up again, he'd jump all over that one, too.

Thinking of Mac, Danny was put in mind of a very foggy conversation he'd had last night. "Did you tell Mac about my...situation?" he finished, bracing himself for whatever the response entailed. Either way, Mac had to be told sooner or later.

Don concentrated so intently on drinking his coffee, that Danny at first thought that he hadn't heard him. Finally, he spoke. "Yeah. I know you wanted to tell him yourself, but he asked me how on earth he managed to beat me to the scene, when I should have been there first interviewing possible witnesses. I told him I was helping a friend in need and further questioning from him led to the story, as I knew it, being related. That guy seriously knows how to interrogate. Sorry." Don genuinely sounded apologetic.

Danny waved the apology away, though he knew he could have held it over Don's head in retaliation for the pictures. He was still too tired to truly care about anything at that point. He wanted to crawl into a nice, comfy bed and just sleep all his worries away, but that wasn't going to happen. The best he could be satisfied with was a sunken couch. Speaking of which, "What on earth is wrong with your couch?"

"There's nothing wrong with my couch," Don retorted.

"It's sinking into the floor!"

"It's had a lot of tender loving care!"

Danny opened his mouth for a comeback and then clamped it shut as the potential implication of what Don had just said hit him square in the face. Finally, "I didn't need to know that."

Don looked confused for a moment, before he said, "That's not what I meant at all! Why would you jump to such a conclusion?"

"You're going to stand there and tell me _that's_ never happened on your couch? Even _I've_ done it on my couch."

"Okay! Once or twice."

Silence. "I need a shower."

**::~*~::**

**A/N: Because I **_**just**_** wrote a story about Don and Danny playing hoops (see my story "Shooting Hoops"), I'm not going to elaborate on the game alluded to in this chapter, when it happens. **

**Okay, originally this chapter was supposed to go longer, but I found that last sentence so amusing that I knew instantly I wanted to end on that note.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Extremely intimate situations such as those that I ended the previous chapter with (aka, sex), will only ever be alluded to (if I feel it fits in with the storyline and the characters), but never detailed. It goes against my religious and personal background to detail those actions. I like to keep my writing in full exclusion of the R/M rating (unless it's horror). You can imagine how you want, but I won't venture into those areas. Along this same note, you won't ever read a swear word in my writing (unless you consider h*** swearing, in which case, it has two—I think—appearances in my story, "The End of the World As We Know It"). I'll simply say "So-and-so swore" in variations.**

**My apologies that it has taken me so long to post this chapter. I've lost my muse and I don't know where she went. I figured since I was so close to the end of this chapter, I might as well stumble through it and see what happens. As I said at the start of the story, I ****will**** finish it, but it may take me some time and some irregular updates. **

**::~*~::**

One long, hot shower later, Danny was finally starting to feel refreshed. All of his problems still hovered at the edge of his mind, but after eating and showering, he started to feel more confident about seizing upon his itinerary today. Don had already left for work, but not after insisting, wholeheartedly, that all such "intimate inclinations" really happened in the bedroom and that he always cleaned up afterward. Danny still insisted on wrapping the couch cushions in bedsheets. Bedsheets that he was going to purchase himself.

Danny's next shift didn't start until the following morning, so he figured he better make a dent into the lease-breaking, insurance-claiming, furniture-shopping headache ahead of him—starting with the laundromat.

It wasn't until after Danny had finished with his shower, that he remembered he had forgotten to clean the clothes that he had stuffed into a bag the previous night. With slight trepidation, he had opened up the bag. While he was eternally grateful it hadn't been a sewage pipe that had broken, the water that had poured out of the rusty pipe left his damp clothing smelling slightly metallic. Thinking briefly that it might garner some sympathy from his landlord if he wore the damp, metal-scented clothing, he finally clothed himself in the clothes he had worn the previous day. Who cared what his landlord thought? He didn't want to be walking around in a portable swamp.

Grabbing his wallet, keys and phone, he headed out the door, making sure to lock it behind him. If he needed back in, Don was just a phone call away. Exiting the building, he stood dumbfounded at the curb with his key in his hand, trying to locate his motorcycle. It took several seconds for the memory of leaving the bike at the precinct to sink in. Muttering about Don's inability to trust him in driving by himself (probably for good reason, considering how much he couldn't remember), he hailed a cab and directed the driver to the precinct.

**::~*~::**

Danny pulled up in front of his apartment building, coasting into his usual spot. As he pulled his helmet off, he let his eyes drift up the outer façade of the building, picking out Kourtney's apartment, something he had managed to decipher within a week of him taking up residence in the building. Part of him wanted to see her, but the other part didn't want to face such a chipper personality in the midst of his problems. Don had been bad enough.

Bypassing the stairs upwards, he headed down to his apartment, taking a deep breath before heading down. It wasn't because of foul air; just a way to calm his nerves and prepare himself for the damage he knew he was going to find.

"Hey," a familiar voice said from behind him, just as he was hitting the bottom step. It wasn't female, so it definitely wasn't Kourtney. Turning around, he was mildly surprised to see Mac standing at the top. "You ready for that?" Mac motioned to the closed door at the bottom of the steps. He descended the stairs to stand behind Danny.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Danny replied with a sigh.

"Do you want some help in there?"

"Aren't you on the clock?"

"Stella's processing the evidence from our case last night and Aiden's at the new scene with Don right now."

Danny dug his apartment key out of his pocket. "I thought Aiden was visiting a cousin in Jersey for a few days."

"She was, but a little bird told her about your apartment and she came back early so that you wouldn't risk getting called in before your next shift."

Danny ground his teeth fiercely together. _The next time I see that little pipsqueak..._he left the thought unfinished. He'd just have to wipe the court floor with Flack's shiny rear end later that night.

"If you don't mind getting your shoes a little wet," Danny said as he opened the door. The water that had pooled outside of his apartment from the previous night had mostly evaporated in the heat of the summer sun, but at the door's opening, a small trickle pooled out of his apartment. The squishy feeling when Danny stepped from the concrete onto the carpet was the most grating feeling in the world to him at that moment. Suppressing an involuntary shiver, he stepped further into the apartment, Mac right behind him. Mac, the most stoic man in the world that Danny knew, grunted at the soggy sensation underfoot and Danny had to keep his face straight ahead so Mac wouldn't see his grin.

**::~*~::**

Three hours later, Danny and Mac reemerged from the swamp-like cavern that mildly resembled a habitable dwelling. The heat from the summer day and all the moisture from the standing water had combined to create an almost unbearable sauna in the apartment and both men had had to step outside numerous times just to breathe. Danny had been dismayed by the damage that had been done after he had left the apartment the night before.

He had grabbed stuff off of the floor and precariously piled everything on counters, tables, chairs—basically anything that was elevated off of the floor. Unfortunately, after he had left, his ancient coffee table had decided to buckle under the weight on top and the water-weakened bottom, not only spilling his treasured magazine collection all over the floor, but splashing water all over his stereo and television, effectively ruining them. He had also piled too much stuff on his dining room table and it had also collapsed. By the time they left, Mac and Danny had sifted through everything and Danny had compiled a list of the essentials he would need to replace. Stuffing the list into his pocket, he refused to think about the cost, knowing, without a doubt, that he wasn't going to get anywhere near the amount he should be getting from the insurance company.

Mac's phone rang out as Danny was locking the door, and the one-sided conversation he was able to hear told him Mac was needed at yet another scene. Danny spoke before Mac had a chance to after putting his phone away.

"It sounds like it's a busy day for the lab. You sure you don't want me to come in today?"

"It's nothing we can't handle. You've got your hands full anyways."

Danny shrugged as he led the way up the steps, back into sunshine and fresh air, or as fresh as New York air was expected to be. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning then."

Mac nodded before climbing behind the wheel of the Avalanche. Danny watched him as he pulled out into traffic. Turning around, he headed up the stairs towards the landlord's office.

"Hey, Messer!"

His eyes screwed shut at the voice, a voice he had hoped he wouldn't hear today. Plastering a smile on his face, he turned back around. "Morning, Burns!"

She frowned in mock disapproval as she hurried up the steps. "Don't think I didn't hear that disdain in your voice, Messer. What, you don't want to see me this morning?" She teased him by holding a large cup of coffee just out of reach.

"Burns," he said, threateningly.

"Alright, alright!" she replied, shoving the cup into his hand. "I was at a scene a few blocks up the road here and I thought I would come by and see how you were doing before heading back to the lab." She took a sip of her own coffee. "Was that Mac I saw driving down the street a few minutes ago?"

"Yep." Taking a sip from the cup she had given him, he never thought coffee could taste so good. Together they sat down on the steps to his building, each enjoying their own coffee.

"So, Flack tells me you're crashing with him until you get things straightened out."

Danny groaned. "Does everyone know what happened?"

Aiden took another sip as she thought for a moment. "Yeah, pretty much."

Danny bit back a bitter retort as he chugged the rest of his coffee, ignoring the burning sensation down his throat. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he tossed the empty cup into a nearby trash can. "Thank you for the coffee, but I really have a lot to do today, so, if you'll excuse me..." He stood up and was preparing to ascend the steps again, when Aiden jumped up and stood in front of him, blocking his way.

"Danny, you are one of the funniest people I know and you can always bring a smile to everyone's face no matter how down they are, which is an incredible trait in our line of work. You can sit here and feel all sorry for yourself for something you can't change, or you can make the best of it and think positively."

Danny stared at her, dumbfounded. "Where on earth did that come from?"

She rolled her eyes. "I have no idea, but roll with it."

"What good can possibly come out of this?"

She held up three fingers, ticking them off as she listed. "It gets you out of this dump of an apartment. I mean, seriously?" She raised a critical eye at the stairs leading down to his apartment. "You can upgrade some of your crappy stuff, like that ancient television set that's probably older than I am." His jaw dropped at the insult to his lucky television. _Doesn't she know that the Rangers win every single one of their games that I happen to watch on that "ancient" television? Speaking of which, I need to find out who won last night._ "AND, you're rooming with Flack."

His eyes went wide at the last one. "Now wait a minute. How is _that_ a good thing? I'm convinced I'll be cursing the day I ever thought rooming with him was a good idea. In fact, I'm already cursing it."

A mischievous smile touched her lips as her eyes sparkled with an evil light. "Just think of all the times he's pulled pranks on you and given you grief over...well, everything." Danny's confused expression prompted her to continue. "Payback!" She practically sang it out. "I'll even help you. I've got a few scores to settle with him myself."

For the first time that day, a genuine, all-out smile crossed Danny's face as the wheels in his head started turning. "You know, you might be on to something, Burns."

**::~*~::**

**A/N: For the record, I've never been in a situation where I've seen a house flooded, so all the little details are my own imaginings. I have no idea how accurate or inaccurate they are.**

**I don't know what kinds of pranks I can play, but I hope to think up some good ones. I might do some cheesy college ones, but I hope to come up with something better for a big prank.**

**Hopefully it won't be another month-and-a-half before I put up the next chapter, but I'm not making any promises. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think my muse reappeared right around the dialogue that starts "Ha!" I definitely had so much fun writing this one after that point. Additionally, I did go back and edit the first four chapters a little bit, mostly just grammatical errors that snuck by me the first time around, but I did decide to break his dining room table as well. Who knows if it'll be important.**

**The lab techs are only going to be mentioned in this chapter, but I decided to include Adam for the following reason: it seems to me that he has too much responsibility within the lab to have just come in off the streets in season 2. I'm sticking with the theory that he was just one of those nameless, faceless bodies that fill the background shots prior to his intro to the audience. With this scenario in mind, I might even include some of the other lab techs (minus Haylen, who actually had a start and stop date).**

**LET THE PRANKING BEGIN! I stared at my computer screen for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out if I could fit a prank into this chapter or not and it finally hit me. I was laughing as I tried to write it, but I think the scenario, as it played out-CENSORED-in my mind, is a lot funnier then how I wrote it here. **

**::~*~::**

Danny was yawning heavily as he returned to the locker room. He had downed a couple of Cokes before meeting Don, in an effort to get his energy level up, but the intense one-hour hoops session had really taken its toll. Combine that with the stress of the last several days and Danny was thoroughly surprised he was still standing. _Not for much longer, _he thought, lying down on the cold plastic bench in front of his locker. He rolled up the clean towel he had grabbed upon leaving the gym and slid it under his head. Closing his eyes, he waited for the headache to subside.

Danny had been impressed when he had finished dealing with the landlord and the insurance company, as well as grabbing dinner, all before six o'clock, and he hadn't needed Aiden to strong arm anyone, even though she had insisted on going with him to the landlord meeting ("Since I'm already here"). The guy had originally been planning on fighting Danny every step of the way, but with Danny's argument that any jury would side with him over paying a month's rent for an apartment that wouldn't be habitable for at least that long and Aiden's narrowed eyes and icy stance, he decided it was a lost cause and broke the lease, giving Danny until the end of the week to move his stuff out. Even though he had his doubts as to whether or not he could reasonably move all of his belongings out of the apartment in four days, he decided not to press the issue, overly satisfied that he had managed to the break the lease so easily, which had been the goal of the visit.

After Aiden had taken off, heading back to the lab to help Chad and Adam process the evidence from her scene, Danny had phoned his insurance agent and submitted his claim. Feeling like it would have been just ridiculous to even start furniture hunting that late in the day, he had dropped by the lab, which he had quickly decided was a huge mistake, since everyone kept asking him how he was, what he was planning on doing, where he was staying and so on and so forth. By the time he had escaped the clutches of his colleagues, he had already accepted help from Aiden, Mac, Chad, and Sheldon to help with moving his stuff out. Stella, since she had court appearances every day for the rest of the week, in addition to working her regular shifts, offered to help him with some furniture shopping the following week. Or apartment hunting, whichever he was up for.

Danny sprang up from the bench as a towel snapped above his head. Don stood there, panting and perspiring from his laps around the indoor track. Danny almost wanted to tackle him, feeling incredibly envious of his unlimited stamina, when Danny himself could barely remain upright. _How on earth can he still be standing after an hour of intense basketball and a few laps around the track?_

"You're not even showered or dressed yet?" Don asked.

Danny shrugged, glad that his headache had left, but feeling utter exhaustion in its wake. He wanted nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep, especially since he had to go back to work the next morning. "Headache," he managed to say.

Don's eyes narrowed as he pulled open his locker. "Why didn't you say something? We could have stopped the game early."

"Ha!" Danny loudly retorted, pulling open his own locker. "You wouldn't be saying that because you lost, now would you?"

Don placed his hand tenderly over his heart and blinked his eyes rapidly to work up some glistening moisture. "I am hurt that you would even suggest such a thing. I am genuinely concerned for your well-being."

Danny grabbed the first thing his hand fell on in his locker and chucked it at Don. They both watched as the jersey fell harmlessly to the floor between them. Danny broke the silence first. "_Really_?" Don had to turn back to his locker to keep Danny from noticing his silent laughter.

Danny grabbed the jersey from off of the floor and shoved it back into his locker, grumbling about the lack of heavy objects within easy reach. Don pointedly ignored him, slinging his towel around his neck and moving off to the showers before Danny could find something heavier to lob at his head.

As Don was heading towards the showers, whistling some showtune, Danny glared daggers into his back. The frown quickly turned to an evil grin as he slammed his locker shut, and started sneaking down the hallway behind Don. It was amazing how a good plan could drive away sleep temporarily. Danny waited until Don had jumped into a shower and was busily soaping up his hair before making his move. The second Don closed his eyes to keep out the soap dripping down his face, Danny ran silently over to the stall. Reaching in, he quickly flipped the handle to ice cold. The effect was instantaneous.

Don screamed in shock and barreled out of the shower stall, almost knocking Danny over as the latter scrambled to get out of the way. The second his eyes met Danny's, they narrowed to barely visible slits. Danny didn't need to look twice before booking it down the shower room and out the door, with Don in hot pursuit. Don, being of longer legs, almost continued into the locker room behind Danny, as he was so close to catching him, but the second he stepped through the door separating the shower room from the locker room, his sensibilities came back to him. He was standing there, butt-naked with a nice thick lather of soap all over his head and absolutely no towel in sight. While Danny was no longer in sight, Don could hear him howling with laughter somewhere on the other end of the locker room.

If Don thought he was embarrassed at that moment, it was nothing to what happened next.

An employee, hearing the screams coming from the locker room, had bolted into the room to determine whether or not an ambulance needed to be called. It wouldn't have been quite so horrifying had the employee been male, but, alas, that late at night, the staff was limited and the female employee was the only one within close proximity to the men's locker room. Don stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, at the girl staring equally shocked back at him.

Don, gathering whatever tattered shreds of dignity he had left, nodded his head at the girl and said, "Ma'am," before disappearing back into the shower room. The girl, horrified beyond belief, stumbled backwards to the door and, once hitting it, fled the locker room in an all-out run.

Danny, on the other hand, had clamped a hand tightly over his mouth to silence his laughter when he had heard the door bang open. He had peeked around the locker bank he was hiding behind to watch the scene unfold and he had wished his phone wasn't still in his locker. He could have traded embarrassing photos with Don. He almost started laughing again when Don tried to retain his dignity by leaving the locker room with his head held high.

Once both of the occupants had left the locker room, Danny went back over to his locker and pulled out his clothes. As much as he felt the need for a shower, he was going nowhere near one until he got to the lab the next morning. He wasn't stupid—he knew he was going to end up paying dearly for his stunt. Too bad he already had another one in the works.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: This chapter was supposed to be about 1700 words longer, but I decided to chop it up and make it into two chapters, so chapter six is done and ready to go, but I figured I would wait a couple of days before posting. Hopefully, it'll give me enough of a head start to get a few more chapters done and I can update on a frequent basis for a while, before my muse deserts me again. It'll take place minutes after this chapter ends. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: HOLY COW! I never intended this story to go this long, but, if you are a writer, you know how the story can just carry you away sometimes. 22 PAGES AND COUNTING! And I haven't even hit the shopping spree with Stella yet. So here is chapter six, but right now I can tell you there are at least four more chapters to look forward to, because I am presently writing chapter ten. **

**::~*~::**

Five minutes later, Don reappeared, this time with a towel around his waist. He didn't say a word to Danny, who was sitting patiently on the bench, eyes fixed on Don. Danny hadn't even attempted to get changed. He had decided he didn't want to be caught unawares if Don had thought something vengeful up while finishing his shower. He didn't know when Don would get him back, but he knew it was coming, if not now, then soon. Don hurried and got dressed, still not even speaking to Danny, let alone looking at him.

The first acknowledgment that Don gave Danny was when he was leaving the locker room and held the door open for Danny to follow him. Danny suppressed a shiver. He didn't like this side of Don. He started to wonder what Don had in mind for him. Danny was quite grateful that they had arrived separately and he didn't have to ride home with Don. That would buy him an extra twenty minutes or so. Grabbing his gear, he headed out behind Don, edging carefully by him as he stepped out into the hallway. He kept his eyes glued to Don, but Don didn't seem to care, keeping his face expressionless and his eyes set forward. The only deviation from this façade was when Don averted his eyes in embarrassment as they quickly walked past the young woman who had had the distinct misfortune of entering a locker room at the wrong time. Danny noticed she was trying equally hard not to notice them as they walked past.

Upon exiting the building, Don turned and headed towards his car without a backward glance. Danny hesitated only a fraction of a second before he started running at high speed towards his bike. Jumping on, he figured he better beat Don back to the apartment, before he had a chance to arrange anything. On the ride over, Danny wondered if he shouldn't just crash at Aiden's place. It would probably be safer.

**::~*~::**

Thirty minutes later, Don walked onto the third floor of his building. Danny was slumped on the floor against the door, dozing, but he must have sensed Don's presence as he instantly jerked awake and eyed his friend warily from where he was sitting on the floor.

Don's face was just as impassive as it had been when they had left the gym and Danny seriously started panicking. Don had never given him the silent treatment this long before, and Danny started second guessing his little prank and wondered if he had crossed the line. All he had done was freeze his friend in the middle of a shower, something that had been done numerous times all over the world, especially when a toilet was flushed in close proximity. Everything had spiraled out of control after that. Slowly getting to his feet, he kept Don in his peripheral vision.

Don pulled out his keys and put the right one into the lock. Upon turning it, however, he discovered it wouldn't budge. Immediately glaring at Danny, he jiggled the key several more times, trying hard to turn it in the lock, to no success. Danny just returned a blank look, apparently as confused as Don was. Don swore under his breath and then mumbled something about fetching his landlord. Sliding back down to the ground, Danny said he would wait right there.

As soon as Don's footsteps echoed down the stairs and Danny couldn't hear him anymore, he quickly jumped to his feet and knocked twice in rapid succession on the door, waited a second and knocked twice again. The door swung open and Aiden appeared with a door lock and a power drill.

"We gotta do this fast," she said, tossing the lock in her hand to Danny and unscrewing the screws in the lock that was presently fastened to the door.

"I can't believe you talked me into this one. Now, he's really gonna kill me," Danny replied, looking over his shoulder toward the stairwell. "I already got him at the gym. Twice if you count the fact that I beat him at hoops."

Aiden was working intently on the lock, but she took the bait. "What did you do?"

"Nothing really spectacular. I just turned the cold water on him in the shower."

Aiden paused in her work for a few seconds and raised an eyebrow in a bored fashion. "Really? That's the best you could come up with?"

"I wasn't finished."

"Continue," she commanded, swapping locks with Danny. He had thoroughly been impressed when she had cornered him in the lab earlier in the day and showed him an exact replica to the door lock that was on Don's apartment door. Miraculously, it had even been scuffed up a bit and showed the passing of time so that it wouldn't raise suspicion when Don tried to enter his apartment.

She quickly set the lock in place and screwed the screws in a little bit so that the lock would hold as she completed the project with the power drill as Danny continued on, "He decided to chase me into the locker room, probably to strangle me, but he failed to grab his towel."

"I'm still not hearing anything that should really piss him off. Guys see each other in the shower all the time at the gym." She screwed the third screw into place.

"Still not finished."

"Well, make it the short version! Don's going to be back up here any minute and I have to hide again."

"An employee ran into the locker room to see what the shouts were all about and to make sure no one was dying." Aiden quickly finished up the lock and jiggled it to make sure it was secure. "The employee wasn't male."

It took a couple of seconds for the full meaning of what he had said to sink in, but Aiden whipped around to face him, her mouth open in shock. "No!"

"Ooooh, yeah." Despite his worries over what Don was going to do to him, he found himself grinning. "Butt-naked, soap everywhere. It turned out better than I ever expected, even though I hadn't planned for that to happen _at all_."

"That poor girl! Oh, he is going to kill you!" she gasped. "I've gotta go. I need to get into prime listening range." Opening the door, she shoved him thru. "Don't forget to lock it."

Sprinting over to the stairwell, she peeked slyly around it and, not seeing any movement, she bolted up the stairs to the fourth floor. Danny watched her go before the sound of voices on the stairwell prompted him to silently close the door and lock it.

**::~*~::**

"Key." The landlord held out his hand. Don reluctantly handed him the key. When they had arrived on the landing, Don's stomach had lurched. Discovering Danny and his stuff missing, Don knew this wasn't going to end well.

The landlord inserted the key into the lock and easily turned it, opening the door. Turning to glare at Don, he looked like he wanted to deck him. Instead, he stomped silently down the hallway.

"Sorry! It's late and I must have put the wrong key in."

The landlord sneered at him. "Naturally," he replied angrily. "Pull another stunt like that again and I'll have you evicted." As he was walking away, Don caught a few choice phrases including "wack-job," "self-centered," "lack of respect," and his personal favorite "punk kid."

Don took several deep breaths before entering his apartment. He wasn't surprised to see the immediate vicinity absolutely deserted. He _would_ have been surprised if Danny had stuck around to gloat when Don walked thru the door.

Wondering where his buddy had disappeared to, but knowing he was in the apartment because his gym bag was on the floor by the door, Don slammed the door behind him and just stood inside the entryway to wait.

**::~*~::**

Aiden waited with baited breath as she had silently slunk back down to stand on the small landing that was the halfway point between the third and fourth floor. She had been slightly disappointed that Don hadn't done more than apologize to the landlord, but she also had the distinct feeling that the best was yet to come. She almost jumped in the air when the door slammed below her. Offering a silent prayer for Danny's safety, she silently descended back to the third floor and pressed her ear against the door.

**::~*~::**

Danny waited, hardly daring to breathe, lest it give away his position. He was sitting on the hard tile floor with his back against the cold plastic of the bathtub. His eyes were glued to the door and his ears strained to hear any sound from the rest of the apartment. He wasn't stupid enough to think Don wasn't out there—he knew he was. He was doing exactly what Danny was doing...waiting.

**::~*~::**

Don was about ready to start hunting his prey within the apartment when a slight scraping noise caught his attention. Smiling, he quietly set his gym bag on the floor and tiptoed over to the bathroom door, taking extreme caution to remain as noiseless as possible. Once outside the bathroom door, he reached his fist up, but paused to ensure Danny hadn't heard him approach. Slamming his fist against the door, he hollered through it. "Open the door, Danny!" There was a loud thump from the other side of the door. His smile grew as a memory came to mind. _Isn't that what Jack Torrance said to his son, Danny, in _The Shining_?_ Don chuckled to himself. _Danny is going to wish his fate was that simple when I get through with him. _

Don could hear some strained cries of pain from the other side and figured Danny had probably hit his head on something when Don started pounding on the door.

"Go to bed, Don!"

"You can't stay in there forever, Messer! If you had been a little smarter, you would have locked yourself in my bedroom where there was at least a fire escape to flee on."

"I'll stay in here as long as I need to!"

Don laughed and he didn't even try to keep the evil tint out of his voice. "You go to work before I do." There was silence from the bathroom and then Danny swore loudly. "Gotcha." He moved silently away from the door and went over to the front closet. Quietly sliding his gym bag into the closet, he grabbed what he needed off of the shelf and closed the door again. He thought he heard footsteps in the hallway outside his door, but he decided not to investigate them. He had Danny right where he wanted him and if he let his guard down, Danny would take his advice and run to the bedroom.

Settling onto the floor in front of the bathroom, he decided to wait.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: As I was rereading this chapter (and chapter five), I realized that a couple of details here or there could have slight slash implications. For the record, I don't read or write slash. It's not something I'm comfortable with and what I wrote is not intended to be taken in such a way, but as the reader, you're more than welcome to read however you want to. **

**I love Don, I really do, but I could not have pictured these last two chapters going the other way around. I don't think it would have been quite so funny if it had been Danny in the embarrassing situation, though *sneak peek* Danny will find himself in a similar situation...**

**Any ideas on what he grabbed from the front closet?**

**Lastly, I know the joke in here was a little ridiculous, but I think I only cared about the conversation between Aiden and Danny and they had to be doing something while they had that conversation. I promise, the next chapter is better.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Alright, I'm getting a little worried. I started these pranks out on such a high level that I don't think I can keep outdoing them, since, traditionally, when you have a prank war, the pranks get even more elaborate and intense as the war goes on. I think I started too high and that it's going to be hard to keep topping them. **

**Sorry for the delay in getting the next chapter up. Things have been so crazy lately that I haven't had time to even think about this story (thank you, Wolfgirl, for reminding me about it in your review). I haven't written anything in the last couple of weeks, so this story has been on hiatus and still is. The only saving grace is that I got ahead a couple of chapters and now that I have a moment, I can post one. Enjoy it!**

**Before I forget, I changed minor details in the previous chapters (nothing too significant), but, since it has been a while since I've done anything with this story on FF here, I thought I would point out that originally I had Danny change out of his workout clothes while at the gym, but I had to change it to remaining in his workout clothes for a bit longer, just so I could make this, and the next, chapter happen. **

**::~*~::**

Danny tried to move as stealthily as possible. While he couldn't see anything through the door, he had listened to the sounds that he could catch from the other side and determined that Don had taken up guard duty right outside. He had waited for an hour, constantly harassing his friend through the door by gloating over the events of the evening, before he realized his chances of getting out of there unscathed were slim to none. Finally, he had resorted to his last plan. Tossing the carpeted bathroom mats into the bottom of the tub, he had pulled every towel of every size together and tossed them into the tub on top of the mats.

Laying down, he had tried to get comfortable for the night. It truly was remarkable what adrenaline and sheer terror could to do exhaustion. As tired as he had been, he didn't trust that Don wouldn't find a way into the bathroom, especially since it was _his_ bathroom and that kept sleep at bay for a long time.

Even though he was fully prepared to ride out the whole night in the bathtub, he had figured that once Don fell asleep, he could slip through the door and escape the apartment, crashing at Aiden's place, especially since this last prank had been her idea. That's what he would do.

Unfortunately, the last thing he remembered was Don was still responding the last time Danny remembered talking. The next thing he knew, it was morning and he had twenty minutes to make a fifteen minute drive to work and he was still trapped in a bathroom. _So much for a shower before shift starts. _He considered the irony of that thought since he had just spent the night sleeping in a bathtub.

Wrapping a towel around the handle in an effort to muffle the sound of the lock being turned, he quietly unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Don was sleeping against the wall in a sitting position directly across from the bathroom door. Danny had taken just a few steps out of the bathroom, carefully stepping over Don's long legs, when a voice that chilled him to the bone spoke.

"Leaving so soon?"

Danny turned to see Don glaring at him, arms folded across his chest. He stopped dead in his tracks. As if that wasn't bad enough, what he saw in Don's lap caused all blood to drain from his face. "You weren't going to shoot me," he asked, "were you?" The last was said in a voice barely deeper than a squeak.

Don looked down at the firearm in his lap. "You don't know how many times that thought crossed my mind last night." Looking squarely at Danny, he smiled, but there was the hint of a manic gleam in his eye. "Death is too good for you. When I'm through exacting my revenge, you'll wish I'd shot you and put you out of your misery."

Danny's eyes flitted back and forth between Don and his gym bag. Finally, he made his choice. Leaping across the room, he grabbed his bag from off of the floor and lunged for the door. Don stayed exactly where he was, watching his friend run in terror. He swallowed the urge to laugh after him. He hadn't even bothered to close the door in his flight.

Don got to his feet and casually walked across the apartment to close the door, listening to Danny's pounding footsteps echoing down the stairwell. Still smiling, he re-holstered his gun and drained the last few drops of coffee from his mug. "Danny really underestimates me sometimes." Unknown to Danny, Don had actually been awake for two hours. In fact, Don had managed to stick to his morning routine for the most part without alerting Danny. He had put on a pot of coffee, helping himself to two cups, picked out his attire for work, watched the news, washed all the dirty dishes and even plotted a little revenge of his own. In fact, he had only resumed his position outside the bathroom door ten minutes before Danny had started moving around.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, he saw that he needed to be at work in an hour. As he was heading towards his bedroom to get ready, a knock sounded at the door. Puzzled, he cautiously opened the door. Natalie, his eight-year-old neighbor, stood at the door with her bright pink Barbie backpack slung over her back and her hand clamped firmly around her little three-year-old sister's hand. She beamed up at him and he couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Did it work?" she asked.

"I certainly hope so," he replied. "Thank you for all your help. I'll let you know what happens."

Her grin widened. "I can't wait!" Spinning around, she skipped back to her door just in time for it to open and her mother to run frantically into the hallway and start chastising her for disappearing. Catching sight of Don standing in his doorway, she quickly straightened up and ran a hand absently through her hair.

"Hi, Don," she said. Don wasn't sure if it was the light or not, but he thought he could detect a blush creeping up her face.

"Hi, Cordelia," he replied. "Sorry about that. Natalie and Hannah were just helping me with something this morning."

Cordelia looked confused. "Oh. Okay," she said slowly.

Don leaned against the doorframe. "You see, my buddy played a small prank on me last night and I just wanted to get him back. I just borrowed a few things from your daughters to get him back with, and, if by chance they don't get returned, I'll replace every one of them." He winked at the girls, hiding behind their mom, who giggled back at him.

Cordelia nodded her head in understanding. "I hope you don't end up teaching my daughters that pranking is good."

He straightened up. "Absolutely not." Looking back at the girls, he pointed a finger at them. "Pranking is bad. If you don't know how to do it right, you can end up in lots of trouble and I would have to take you to jail." Their eyes widened in horror at him, but what Natalie said next completely blindsided Don and Cordelia.

"Will you teach us how to do it right?"

Cordelia spun on her daughter. "Natalie!"

"Sorry, mom."

Don, taken aback by the request, managed to utter, "We'll talk about it when you're older."

Cordelia quickly ushered her daughters into the apartment and Don turned back to enter his own, but Cordelia's voice stopped him. "So, what did your friend do to you?"

Now, it was Don's turn to blush. And, blush he did! "I'd rather not talk about it right now." With mock seriousness, he replied, "The pain is still too great." Without waiting for a response, he practically ran into the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Leaning against it, lest anyone try and enter, his eyes were drawn to a foreign object on his living room floor that was hiding under the coffee table. Dropping to his knees by the table, he reached out to grab the object. Upon closer inspection, he grinned. _This is getting better and better. Too bad I'm going to miss the initial fireworks. _

**::~*~::**

The second the elevator doors started sliding open, Danny was thru them and sprinting down the hallway, barely sliding to a stop before bowling over his boss. Mac stood there with a file in one hand and a Styrofoam cup of coffee in the other. He had been about to take a sip of the bitter liquid but Danny's hasty appearance stopped him with the cup halfway to his lips. His eyebrows raised as he looked Danny up and down, wrinkling his nose as though an unpleasant odor had been detected

Seeing Mac's expression, Danny looked himself up and down. He was still dressed in his stained, holey, and sweaty workout clothes from the night before and now that he was standing still and not distracted by attempts on his life, he smelled the stale odor from his workout last night as well. No wonder Mac's face said he'd rather be anywhere but where he was.

"We don't have a call, do we?" Danny asked.

"Even if we did, you're not going out to represent our lab looking like that," Mac replied, his face settling into the stern boss expression that Danny had become quite acquainted with in recent months.

"I absolutely understand, Mac. I think I'm going to go change now." He started backing away from Mac and when he was a few steps away, he turned and bolted down the hallway toward the locker room.

**::~*~::**

Upon entering the shower area of the locker room, Danny had made sure to choose a stall that gave him an unhindered view of the door. He tried to enjoy the nice, cleansing feeling of getting rid of all of the dirt and grime from last night, but he was forced to keep one eye on the rest of the room, on the off chance that Don took him unawares.

Not desiring to keep Mac waiting any longer, especially since Danny was technically on the clock, he quickly rinsed off and jumped out of the shower. Tying the towel around his waist, he went back to his locker and pulled out his gym bag. With everything that had happened, Danny hadn't had a chance to grab different clothes from what he had worn the day before, but he figured anything was better than his gym clothes.

Unzipping the bag, he reached in to pull out his jeans, only to be met with something quite unexpected. "No," he whispered, pulling his hand out. Flinging the article aside, he went to grab something else. "No! No! No! No!" The monosyllabic repetition was uttered in despair as he kept reaching in, pulling out, and flinging behind him, article after article of clothing. Growing even more desperate, he grabbed the entire bag and flipped it upside down shaking the remaining contents out onto the floor, which only got worse. Not seeing what he was after, he collapsed on the floor against a closed locker and buried his head in his hands. _Mac is going to kill me!_

**::~*~::**

Adam was completely oblivious to everything around him. All that mattered to him was the music flowing thru his earbuds and into his brain. He ignored the amused looks he was getting as he shuffled, slid, and bounced down the hallway towards the locker room, responding only to Chad's two thumbs up as he moonwalked past the lab that Chad was working in.

He hopped, skipped,and jumped down the stairs, heading to the left. Gearing up for the grand finale, he kicked open the door in extreme action-movie fashion and jumped through before it shut behind him. Completely unprepared for what he saw next, he stumbled backwards and plastered himself against the closed door, his mouth dropped open in shock. He ripped the earbuds out of his ears and spun around to try and escape before he could be apprehended.

"Adam!"

**::~*~::**

Danny had been sitting there for only a few moments, quietly contemplating how he could murder his best friend and get away with it, when the locker room door had blasted open and Adam had jumped through, caught up in rocking out on his iPod. At the same moment Adam caught sight of him in his awkward predicament, Danny was sizing him up and down.

Adam whipped around and had started opening the door again, but Danny was quicker. He jumped up and practically flew across the room to slam the door shut again, keeping one hand on the towel around his waist, so it wouldn't fly off. "Adam! You have got to help me!"

Adam's eyes flew nervously to the mess on the floor. "I hate to break it to you, buddy, but I think you're be_yond_ help."

"This is just Don's idea of a joke, but I have _nothing_ to wear. Mac will fire me in a heartbeat if I walk out of here wearing anything that I brought in with me today. We're about the same size. Can't you help me out?"

Hearing the pleading tone in his friend's voice, Adam's expression became crestfallen. "Dude, I'd love to, but I don't have any spare clothes."

"Well, go around and ask all the guys in the lab." Danny was getting more and more desperate as the seconds ticked by. "Except Mac. He's not to hear a word of this. In fact, no one is allowed to know the real reason I need some clothes."

Adam quickly nodded and the relief that crossed his face when Danny allowed him to open the door again was immediate. Without waiting for Danny to potentially change his mind and attack him for his own clothes, he tore out of the bathroom like the devil himself was on his heels.

Danny watched him until he turned the corner and then closed the door behind him. Thinking it would be best to salvage his reputation, he decided to stuff everything back into his gym bag before anyone else caught sight of it.

A color that should never be allowed anywhere near a men's locker room had exploded all over the floor in the form of children's clothing—including a couple of tutus—and dress-up outfits. As if that hadn't been bad enough, a couple of Barbie dolls had been stuffed into his bag as well. While he was waiting for Adam to return, he set about stuffing everything back in his bag and shoving it out of sight into his locker.

The door slammed open before he was all the way done cleaning up. Grimacing in horror at the embarrassing predicament he was in, he looked up.

"You!"

_Click._

**::~*~::**

**A/N: Just think, this is preparing him for when he has Lucy. *laughs evilly***


	8. Chapter 8

**Original A/N: Hallelujah! As I was writing Stella and Don's conversation in this chapter, I got a great idea for how Danny acquired his pool table. Sorry readers, there won't be any pool table shopping, but I hope the alternative is better. It's still going to be a couple of chapters away, though.**

**Be forewarned, there is quite a bit of choking in this chapter. I'm really going to have to come up with better ways of expressing shock and surprise than trying to choke everyone or have their eyes pop out of their heads. **

**August 24th A/N: I really want to apologize to my followers of this story. I have been so busy with other stuff in life that I have not actually written anything for two months now, which makes me quite glad that I ended up writing a little bit ahead, for occasions just like this. I have something to fall back on while I get my life back in order so you aren't left completely hanging. **

**YOU NOW HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MISSION! And, I hope you accept it. I have one more completed chapter after this one and then I will have caught up to where I left off two months ago. Your job? Tell me if you want me to post the next chapter within the next few days or if I should wait a few weeks and do as I have been doing to kind of draw it out and hopefully jog my creativity. Let me know in a review! If I don't get very many responses back, I'll fall back on my usual routine.**

**::~*~::**

After throwing on some clean clothes, Don had grabbed a change of clothing for Danny. He felt that giving Danny a fifteen minute head start would suffice for his plan to work to its fullest, without landing Danny in too much trouble. Not any more trouble than Don was in with his landlord.

Calling into his precinct captain, he told him that he was going to head straight to the crime lab instead of the precinct in order to check up on the status of some evidence he was waiting on to make an arrest in a case he was working with them. The captain gave his go ahead and Don was on his way.

Stepping out of the elevator onto the thirty-fourth floor, he didn't see anyone he immediately recognized, so he just started walking in the general direction of Danny's office.

"Hey, Don! What brings you to the crime lab so early this morning?" He spun around to see Stella coming up the steps from the morgue.

"The usual. Just hoping I get to arrest someone today?" he asked, hopefully.

Stella shook her head. "Not yet, but we're getting close. Hey, how is Danny doing? He looked pretty tired this morning when I saw him run in. Is everything alright?"

"I'm sure he's wishing he was dead right about now," Don said under his breath.

"What?" Stella had only been half listening, her eyes scanning the autopsy report she had in her hand. She looked back up at Don.

"Oh, I think it's been pretty rough on him." _And me._

"Oh, well, keep an eye on him. You know him better than anyone, so let us know if the stress gets to be too much for him." Stella continued walking up the hallway towards Mac's office, leaving Don standing in the corridor. _Oh, the stress will definitely be too much for him. It's only a matter of time. _

Continuing on, he passed the one other person he needed to have a little chat with.

Sneaking into the break room, he asked, "Hey, have you seen Danny?" right behind her ear. He achieved the desired effect as she jumped off of her chair, choking on her orange juice. Wheezing, Aiden turned to glare at him.

"What is the matter with you?" she screeched. She punched him, hard, in the shoulder. "Ow, that burns." She ran over to the sink and, in between hacking coughs, she gulped down some water from the faucet. "If you ever make me choke on orange juice again, I'll shove some hydrofluoric acid down your throat and see how you like it."

"Ouch, temper!" He pretended to jump back in fright. "Seriously, where's Danny?" He held up the bag he had in his hand. "He forgot his clothes."

Aiden almost choked on the water she was now drinking. Looking at the glass in her hand and the orange juice on the table, she quickly set down the cup and decided to forgo any liquids while Don was in sight. "How does a guy forget his clothes? What did he do, come in to work naked?"

"I'm sure his birthday suit would have been preferential over what he was wearing."

"Really?" she replied.

"Yep."

"Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I haven't seen him yet this morning." Checking her cell phone, she continued, "His shift started fifteen minutes ago, and I'm sure he's not looking to piss Mac off right now. He's probably in the locker room."

_Of course__!_ "Thanks." He started out of the room only to turn at the doorway. Tossing something towards Aiden, he smirked, "I think you dropped this," before leaving the break room.

Out of the corner of his eye, as he walked in front of the glass-paned wall of the break room, he saw Aiden slap her hand to her forehead in frustration as she warily eyeballed Don, her police ID now clutched in her hand.

**::~*~::**

"Remind me again why you need my pants?" Chad asked, handing over some lime green pants. Adam hesitated in taking them, staring apprehensively at the bright color. Finally taking the pants, he folded them over his arm where they clashed horribly with a rust-colored sweatshirt one of the M.E. assistants had loaned him. _I'm starting to think Danny would be better off in a tutu. _

"Um, why on earth do you have neon green pants?"

"They're part of my bowling uniform."

"You bowl?"

"Yeah, I've invited you a few times."

Adam looked back down at the pants over his arm. "In that case, I'm glad I've always declined." Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a familiar figure passing in front of the lab. All color drained from his face and he dropped the clothes in shock. As soon as the figure passed out of sight, Adam grabbed the clothes off of the floor and sprinted out of the lab. "Gotta go!"

**::~*~::**

Don descended the stairs and headed towards the locker room. Hearing footsteps behind him, he threw out an arm and stalled Adam as he ran down the stairs, potentially to Danny's aid. Though he was fully prepared to fight to warn Danny, Adam stopped short at Don's threatening look. "Unless you want your name added to my hit list, I suggest you turn around and go back to work. Leave this between Danny and me."

"Yes, sir." Adam ran back up the stairs, not needing to be told twice.

Don pulled his phone out of his pocket and shoved the door open, letting it close behind him. Danny was shoving everything pink into his bag, still dressed in only a towel. Don leaned back against the door with his phone angled right at Danny and waited for his friend to notice he wasn't Adam. It didn't take long.

"You!"

_Click._ Danny had been looking straight at the camera, his eyes flashing with anger and his skin turning red from the fury Don could almost feel pulsing off of him. Danny's stance put Don in mind of a bull preparing to charge and he wasn't sure if Danny really was going to attack him or not.

**::~*~::**

Danny fought to keep his temper in check. He took several deep, controlled breaths, though he wanted nothing more than to go over and choke the life out of his "so-called" friend.

Don motioned to the bag in his other hand and said, "I have some clothing that is just your size, but there are some conditions. If you don't agree to meet them, I can certainly send Adam in here and leave you at the mercy of his clothing selection. Trust me, you don't want to take that road."

Danny frowned, nodded, but didn't say anything, his mouth clamped shut in a tight line. Don decided to continue. "If we insist on revisiting our respective frat days, there are going to have to be some ground rules, primarily nothing that can get us arrested, fired, or evicted."

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Can I have my clothes now?"

Don threw the bag at Danny and turned around so his friend could get dressed in something close to privacy. "And, I want us to remain friends when all is said and done. I don't know about you, but I think we're flirting with disaster as it is."

Danny was dressed in record time, trying to force his anger to dissipate. Don had a point, especially now that Danny had a better understanding of how he might have felt the night before. Stuffing the rest of Don's prank back into his gym bag, he shoved it into his locker and pushed past the taller man to leave the room.

Both of the men were apprehended by Mac at the top of the stairs. Mac looked directly at Danny, down at his watch and back at Danny. Before Danny could say a word, Don spoke, "Sorry, Mac. Danny accidentally grabbed the wrong bag this morning in his rush out the door. I just managed to get here." Danny stared at Don in amazement, wondering why his friend was doing this after everything Danny had put him through the night before.

Mac just nodded. "I need you both in the conference room, right now." Without waiting to see if they followed, Mac turned and started walking in that direction.

Danny's amazement at his friend covering his butt had just evaporated. Glancing worriedly at Don, he saw that Don was a little uncomfortable as well. _Did Mac hear something? Are we going to be written up?_ Danny was positive that Mac couldn't write Don up as Don technically didn't work for him, but Danny was scared stiff for himself. He had made a couple of serious errors within the last several months, including one that destroyed any chance for promotion and almost cost him his job, and he knew he was hanging by a thread as it was. Mac may have been friendly and sympathetic to Danny's situation the day before, but in the workplace, everything was different. Mac had a lab to run and he couldn't afford to baby Danny. It was sink or swim at this point.

Turning the corner, the conference room came into sight and Danny almost breathed an audible sigh of relief. If Mac was going to tear into them, he wouldn't have invited the rest of the team into the same room. Danny's mind quickly turned to wondering what was going on that the whole team needed to be assembled.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: Remember, REVIEW and tell me if want chapter nine sooner or later!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm going to be honest here and say I haven't written anything new since August. I've tried, but the muse hasn't been there. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to find my inspiration again in order to finish this. I feel I should admit that most of my inspiration comes from watching the show, and I've barely watched any television this season, including CSI:NY. Maybe I'll do a marathon sometime soon and see if that helps. At the very least, I can read amazing stories on this site. :)**

**::~*~::**

"Alright. You all have your assignments. I don't think I need to remind you that this is our number one priority now." Mac stood at the head of the conference table, looking into the face of each one of his team members. Satisfied that everyone was on the same page, he gathered up his files and left the conference room, leaving everyone else to trickle out as needed.

As everyone else stood to leave as well, Danny's heart plummeted into his stomach at the sly grin on Don's face. Wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole before Don had a chance to open his mouth, he tried putting on his most intimidating glare. He knew it wouldn't work as Don was the only person he could never intimidate.

"Hey, Danny, my neighbor's daughters would really like their clothes back, so when you're done playing dress up with them, let me know so I can give them back." Danny's expression turned murderous as he focused his attention across the table at Don, all the while ignoring the questioning looks from his departing colleagues. Don stood up and tossed one more barbed comment at Danny. "And don't forget the Barbie dolls, either."

The pencil Danny had been holding snapped in his hands, though he wished it could have been Don's neck. Mustering up a cheeky grin, he flashed it at those who were still in the room. Everyone else looked thoroughly confused, except for Aiden. She reached over and slapped him upside the head.

"You jerk!" she hissed. "Why didn't you pick up my ID at Don's place?"

Now it was Danny's turn to look confused. "What?"

"My ID. It fell out of my pocket last night. Don found it and gave it back to me this morning."

"What was I supposed to do? Scour the entire apartment for things you _might_ have lost in the sixty seconds between me closing the door and Don opening it again?"

She pushed her chair back angrily and got to her feet. "Ugh." Storming out the door, she almost plastered Chad on the other side of the door as he had been walking by with some evidence in hand. It was only some quick footwork that barely got him out of harm's way before the bags went flying.

Danny watched in awe as Aiden walked away. _What __on __earth __is __she __mad __at __me __for? __It __was __her __idea!_ Sometimes, the female persona was an absolute enigma to him.

**::~*~::**

_Meanwhile..._

Don was walking towards the break room when he felt a slap upside the back of his head. "Hey!"

"Why didn't you tell me it was because of some stupid prank?" Stella said furiously.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Stel," Don replied, rubbing his head where she had hit him. Yes, he and Danny were engaging in a prank war, but aside from Adam and Aiden, no one else should have known about it and neither one of them would have said a word, lest it reach Mac's ears.

"Do you have any idea who you are talking to?" she replied, her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"Unless you're about ready to tell me you were the pranking champion during your school days, I really have no idea."

If Stella got any more wound up, Don was afraid he would have to start looking for a pull string. Her mouth dropped open and she leaned forward to slap him again.

"Ouch!" he yelled, jumping away from her.

She slowly started advancing on him, and, worried that another hand was going to fly, he kept backing up until he found himself flattened against a wall. "I did not scale the lab's corporate ladder to become Mac's right-hand man without learning a few tricks of my own." Don felt it was in his best interest to keep quiet about her use of the word _man_. "You think I didn't notice Adam running around with a horrendous ensemble of clothes over his arm; or Aiden chucking a random door lock into the trash bin; or Danny trying to hide a bunch of pink clothing in his locker before anyone saw him?" Stella paused to catch her breath, before continuing, though in a slightly calmer tone of voice. "Here I was, concerned for Danny and everything he's going through, especially considering his appearance this morning, and I find out it had nothing to do with his apartment and everything to do with a war the two of you decided to wage. I don't care what you do on your own time, but you better keep it out of the lab from this moment forward, or I'll have no choice but to notify Mac."

Don didn't doubt her for a second. He knew she wouldn't willingly try to get Danny and him into trouble with Mac if she could help it, but he also knew that she wouldn't sacrifice the integrity of the lab. If the pranks got too out of control and jeopardized the work of the lab, Mac would have them both fired in an instant. "Absolutely."

She looked down at her watch and swore. "Now I'm running late for court and you've put me in a foul mood." Rushing down the hallway, she didn't have a chance to hear Don's soft parting words.

"Heaven help the courtroom graced with your presence."

**::~*~::**

Danny stumbled onto the third floor of Don's apartment building close to midnight. He had gotten off work at six o'clock and immediately gone to his apartment to start cleaning it out.

_In __all __the __excitement __of __the __previous __day __and __night, __he __had __forgotten __who __was __coming __by __to __help __him __clean __that __evening. __He __almost __had __a __heart __attack __when __Mac __walked __through __his __front __door __with __a __box __of __trash __bags __in __hand. __Danny __spent __the __first __two __hours __they __were __working __together, __waiting __for __everything __to __spill __out __into __the __open. __Once __he __decided __Mac __had __no __idea __what __was __going __on __between __him __and __Don, __he __relaxed __a __little __bit __and __the __process __of __weeding __through __what __was __garbage __and __what __was __worth __saving __became __a __little __easier._

_For the most part, they had worked in silence. The only time Danny had willingly broken the silence was when he apologized for his appearance that morning, swearing that it would never happen again. Mac accepted the apology and the two men lapsed into silence again. That brief exchange reminded Danny that he had no more decent clothing to wear beyond what he currently had on and so he made his way over to his bedroom, leaving Mac to continue working in the living room alone for a few minutes._

_Danny's breath caught in his throat when he opened the bedroom door. Mac looked up sharply to ensure everything was okay. Danny quickly waved him away, before his boss could see the room. "I'll be right back out."_

_He slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. Beady little eyes stared down at him from every inch of the room, including the ceiling. Standing alone, these things would have been cute and cuddly, but plastered all over the walls and ceiling—it was just creepy. Danny reached forward to rip off the closest poster, but his fingernails scratched harmlessly over the edges. Frowning, he reached for another and another. None of them were remotely close to coming off. It appeared that whoever had plastered them all over the room had used some kind of wall sealant to glue them to the walls and ceiling._

_Whipping out his cell phone, Danny furiously started typing an angry text to Don. Wrenching the closet door open after he had hit send, he started tossing clothes into a few bags he had brought in with him. For the most part, his clothes being hung up had protected them from the lake that had settled onto his apartment floor. The only thing he had to worry about now was whether all the standing moisture in the air had caused mildew to spring up anywhere. Trying to separate the damp clothes from clothes that had stayed relatively dry, Danny didn't notice the footsteps outside the bedroom door until it was too late. _

_"__Hey, __Danny, __do __you__—" __Mac's __words __hung __in __the __air __in __front __of __him. __His __eyes __took __in __the __walls __and __the __ceiling. __Danny __stood __there __in __horror, __praying __pathetically __that __maybe __Mac __wouldn't __see __him, __even __though __he __was __standing _right _there_. You have to give the man credit, _Danny __thought. __Other __than __a __slightly __wider __opening __of __the __eyes __than __was __normal, __you __would __not __be __able __to __tell __by __Mac's __expression __that __he __had __just __seen __teddy __bear __posters __plastered __all __over __a __grown __man's __bedroom._

_His eyes finally fell on Danny. "Anything I should know about?"_

_In a deadpan voice, Danny said, "I've never seen these posters before in my life?" It was almost a question–of whether or not Mac would buy it...and Danny would lose a lot of respect for the man if he did. _

_"Danny, I know things have been tough over the last couple of months, but you know you can talk to me—" _

_Danny cut him off. "Look, Mac. I'm doing fine. I love my job, I love my life, I love the ladies. I think that about sums up the typical life-changing events. I'm not trying to get fired, I'm not suicidal, and I'm definitely not homosexual." Not coming up with any ideas on how he can reasonably explain away the teddy bear pictures, he opted for part of the truth. "It's just a joke Don decided to play on me, you know, to get me to liven up a little bit and not get so depressed about everything that's going on."_

_Mac nodded. "You should probably tell him to tone it down a little bit next time."_

_If Mac only knew the half of it..._

_Relieved that Mac wasn't taking a much more intense interest in the shenanigans of his employees, Danny replied, "Will do." Looking at the walls and ceiling, he said, "Uh, Mac. I don't suppose you know a way to get this stuff off?"_

**::~*~::**

Earlier in the day, Don had presented Danny with a spare key to his apartment so Danny could come and go as he pleased, though Don implied he was probably going to regret this decision later. It wasn't until Danny was standing outside the apartment door that he began to wonder if Don had given him the real key to the apartment. Figuring at this point that he better just try, he put the key into the lock and turned it.

**::~*~::**

Don lay awake in his bed, listening for the sound that finally reached his ears. He smiled at the darkened ceiling as he heard Danny enter the apartment building. Minutes later, he heard Danny start grumbling as he headed for the bathroom. Don could only imagine what veiled threats Danny was slinging towards his door as he walked by.

**::~*~::**

When the key had turned in the lock, Danny had breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he wasn't trapped in the hallway for the night. His elation quickly turned to frustration as he flipped on the light and saw that the sleeping area he assumed he would be using was presently occupied. Grabbing the note up off of the counter, he read: _Danny. __Hey, __buddy, __I'm __sorry __about __the __couch, __but __I __had __a __few __boxes __I __needed __to __pick __up __from __my __storage __unit __this __evening. _Few? The whole living room was buried under boxes! The only place that didn't have boxes stacked to the ceiling was the coffee table and that's probably because it would buckle under the weight. Danny looked in annoyance at the perfectly bare dining room table and cursed Don under his breath. He continued reading: _Since __I __know __how __much __you __enjoyed __your __beauty __sleep __in __the __bathtub __last __night, __I __fixed __it __up __for __you __tonight. __Sweet __dreams. __Don. _Danny crumpled the paper up in his hand and threw it right into the middle of the cardboard mess.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he found himself wanting to see how Don had "fixed" the bathroom up for him. Dropping his bags onto the floor, he went to the bathroom. Flipping on the light he was greeted with the sight of some couch cushions lining the bottom of the tub, on top of which rested some bedsheets. A folded up blanket sat on the closed toilet cover with a pillow on top of it. To complete the setup, a fuzzy, brown teddy bear was perched on the edge of the bathtub, just waiting for him.

Danny was sorely tempted to go dump a bucket of ice water on Don, but he was, once again, too tired to do anything so daring. Instead, he unwound a good three feet of floss from the dispenser, furnished himself a noose, hooked the teddy bear up to it, and hung it outside on the door handle—his own morbid version of a "Do Not Disturb" sign.

Danny turned off the light and jumped into the tub, getting comfortable. Aside from the fact that he couldn't stretch out in the too-small tub, he found the arrangement quite comfy. Apparently, Don had set up one additional feature of the "bathroom suite"—as Danny's eyes adjusted to the darkness, the stars came out to watch his slumber.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: We have now caught up to where I had originally gotten to. I have a little bit started on chapter 10, but I don't think I can continue it at the moment as I am strapped for inspiration. Nothing irritates me more than writers starting amazing stories and then leaving them hanging, and I apologize profusely that I, myself, have fallen into that category. Know this, though, that this story is never far from my thoughts. It will be completed. I just don't want to struggle through it and post something that I know is not even close to my best. I'd rather post something that I am 98% proud of. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I want to start by apologizing to my readers, especially those who became invested in this story. I've found it very difficult to write over the last year, but I hope that difficulty has ended. I never meant for this story to be left hanging as long as it did. It always annoys me when other authors do that, and I am ashamed that I have fallen into that category. My apologies for this extended delay; I hope it won't happen again. While I know there have been some readers waiting a long time for this chapter, I regret to say that there are no pranks in this chapter. However, the end of the chapter does set up nicely for the prank I am in the middle of writing for the beginning of chapter 11. **

**Thank you afrozenheart for continuing to write and update your own portfolio of stories on here. The alerts I would randomly get always served as a reminder that I needed to get writing again. I am tragically behind on reading your newer stories, but I will read and review them soon. **

**::~*~::**

The potential threat of eviction and unemployment acted as a buffer for the rest of the week, and except for a minor prank here and there, Don and Danny coexisted in the same apartment quite peacefully for a time. Don even went so far as to assist Danny in removing the teddy bear posters plastering his bedroom.

Danny took one last look around the apartment that had been his home for two years. Everything had been moved out and Danny was just making one last run through it to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Satisfied that nothing had been left behind, he closed the door behind him and locked it. Running up the steps, he almost ran right into Kourtney. She seemed to have been waiting for him as her eyes lit up when he came into view.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Hi," he replied, wondering why, after these two years, she was suddenly so shy.

"One of your helpers told me you were moving out."

"Yep. It didn't seem possible to stay in that mess."

"Of course." She was rocking back and forth on her feet and Danny noticed, for the first time, that she had her hands behind her back.

"Are you hiding something back there?" he smiled. Then, faking a look of fright, he asked, "It's not your boyfriend, is it?"

She laughed. "No, not my boyfriend." She suddenly blushed, and he wondered if he had embarrassed her by asking her what she was hiding. Before he had a chance to change the subject, she continued, "Actually, it's a going away present for you. Your friend told me you liked them, which I thought was a little strange at first, but I think it actually suits you." Bringing it out from behind her back, she thrust the bag into his hands. Immediately, she winced, "Sorry. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I guess it's because I—it's just that I—" she seemed to be stumbling over what she wanted to say. She bit her lower lip and finally got out the rest. "I'm gonna miss you. As my neighbor, of course." She looked to be on the verge of fleeing his presence.

Trying to disperse the awkward tension, he flashed her one of his winning smiles. "If it means anything to you, I'll miss you, too." _You have no idea how much I'm going to miss looking at you. _Opening his arms, he asked, "Hug between friends?" She nodded and leaned forward, but he suddenly pulled back. Looking up and down the street, he looked back at her, "Coast is clear."

Laughing again, she melted against him. He savored the scent of her lilac body mist, wondering if he was ever going to smell that on her again. Eventually, the hug had to end, and they pulled apart. Gesturing to the bag in his hands, he asked, "Do you want me to open this now or later?"

Blushing fiercely, she vigorously shook her head. "Maybe when you get to wherever you're staying tonight?"

"Works for me." Recollecting the key in his hand, he said, "I guess I better go turn this in. Maybe I'll see you around."

She smiled. "Maybe."

**::~*~::**

Danny ran a hand over the light stubble covering his lower face as he tried to suppress a yawn. He'd just finished up on shift a few hours before and had thought that starting the process of shopping would be a good idea, at least so he could get an idea of what the cost was going to run him. He'd spent four hours just looking at coffee tables and dining room tables and he was utterly lost. He'd had no idea they could come in so many different shapes and sizes, colors and prices. Why did people have to make things so complicated?

His musings were interrupted by the sound of girls laughing in the hallway outside the door. Heaving himself to his feet, he made his way to the door with the thought in mind to chastise the girls into silence at this late hour. Upon opening the door, however, he was greeted by two little girls passing by wearing shocking pink outfits that looked horrifyingly familiar. Without uttering a word, he slammed the door closed, completely forgetting the late hour. He wondered if they would make any connection between him and the outfits Don had borrowed. He quickly pushed the thought out of mind, believing the girls to be too young to have that kind of mental capacity.

A knock sounded on the other side of the door. "Mr. Messer!" Danny grimaced, before opening the door again. The girls stood at the door, smiling up at him without any cares in the world. He couldn't help smiling back at them, but it quickly turned into a frown when they started talking again. "Wanna play Barbies with us?"

His eyes widened in shock. Stammering out a negative reply, he closed the door on the girls, feeling only slight remorse at shutting the door in their faces. Collapsing onto the couch, he wrapped the sheets he had purchased for the couch around him and shut his eyes against the night.

**::~*~::**

"Danny! Are you in there?" a woman's voice shouted thru the apartment door, accompanied by some loud banging. Danny rolled over to face the back of the couch, pulling the pillow tighter over his head and groaning in protest at being woken up in such an abominable fashion. The voice sounded familiar, but in his foggy, half-asleep state of mind, he couldn't place it.

"I'm coming in," the voice continued and Danny's eyes flew open as he heard the jangle of keys. Leaping off the couch, he threw himself through the open door to the bathroom, slamming it behind him just as the front door to the apartment opened. "Don't think I didn't see that, Daniel Messer! We were supposed to meet an hour ago! Let's go!"

Danny quickly rifled thru the hamper in the bathroom, searching for pants that were somewhat clean. All of his clean clothes were out in the living area and no way was he going back out there in just his boxers. Sniffing several, he finally found a pair that passed inspection and quickly pulled them on. Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky with a shirt, but he figured since he was half-dressed, it wouldn't be quite so awkward.

**::~*~::**

Stella dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and set the two cups of coffee next to it. Pulling one loose of the carrying tray, she sipped it slowly, wincing as the too hot liquid burned her mouth. Checking her watch, she sighed loudly, hoping it was loud enough to carry into the bathroom where her prey was lurking. He had asked for her assistance in furniture shopping, so she had decided to play the part of the good friend and devote her morning off to the cause, but now she was starting to regret it. She had to be at the lab for her shift in two hours, and Danny was just now rolling out of bed. If it wasn't for the fact that Danny had just signed a lease on a new apartment which he would be moving into at the end of the week, she would have shouted at him to forget it.

Another glance at her watch was interrupted by the bathroom door opening and the man of the hour appearing. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Danny, I'm _so_ not your type."

He returned a cheeky grin as he pulled a white T-shirt over his head and tucked his wallet into his back pocket. "You thought I dressed up just for you? Pl_ease_."

Stella nodded her head towards the untouched coffee cup. "Let's go. I'm on a time crunch now."

Danny looked longingly at the refrigerator before following Stella out the door. His stomach rumbled in outrage.

**::~*~::**

While it was Danny's furniture they were shopping for, he ended up following Stella and the salesman around the furniture warehouse like a lost puppy. He answered questions when absolutely necessary, but didn't volunteer any information. He could tell both Stella and the salesman were getting annoyed with him, but he didn't really care about the wood grains and dyes or whether the table was round, square, or rectangular. It was a dining room table, for goodness sake! You were supposed to eat off of it and that was that! Who cares what it looks like?

"And over here, an excellent addition to any bachelor pad," the salesman droned, pointing to number nineteen or maybe number twenty-nine on the list of potentials that they had already seen. Danny resisted the urge to point out that the last five sets had been "an excellent addition to any bachelor pad." Unlike every other set they had come across, Danny's interest was piqued by this one. The glass and black wrought iron look was very sleek and modern and Danny could actually see himself dining at such a table.

"I'll take it," he said. The salesman, already looking around the showroom for yet another set to showcase, spun around so fast, he almost gave himself whiplash. Without waiting for his customer to second guess his choice, he snatched the ticket from the table and practically ran away from the duo.

Danny had noticed the look of relief that had crossed Stella's face when he'd made his decision. "Worried that I'd make you late?"

"Not at all. I'd have left your sorry butt here in order to make it to the lab on time, and let you figure out your own way home."

"Ouch!" he feigned a look of hurt, before settling into his natural persona. "Dining room is handled. Care to give the bedroom a quick shot?" He waggled his eyebrows at her, knowing full well she'd leave him writhing on the floor before giving that idea any consideration.

Pointing an accusing finger at him, she replied, "You're on your own for that one, Messer."

**::~*~::**

Conducting the transaction itself went much quicker than the browsing had done, helped along by Stella's insistent fingernail drumming and constant watch checking. She definitely had the persona that shouted to the world that she was not to be messed with today and the salesman seemed to be quite terrified of her because of it. Every time she went to check her watch, the man seemed to jump in fright and typed a little bit faster, but the computer seemed quite stubborn in going at its own pace.

Fifteen minutes later, Danny and Stella exited the building. His new dining room table was set to be delivered two days after he moved into his new place, which Danny found himself getting more and more excited about as the days went by. He'd only been in his basement apartment for two years, but he was like a little kid at Christmas when he thought about having full-size windows again with a view and sunshine. By the time they got to the car, Danny was practically skipping and Stella was looking less like a power-woman and more like an embarrassed mother.

"Change of plans," she said, starting up the car and pulling into the flow of traffic. Danny raised an eyebrow. "I have fifteen minutes to get to work and dropping you back off at Don's would take me too far out of the way. Wanna come in early?"

Technically, Stella didn't have the authorization to allow him to come in early, but Danny knew she wouldn't have offered if Mac wouldn't have been okay with it. Still, he wasn't really in the working mood...

"I'll go with you to the lab, but I may just crash on the break room couch."

A sly smile stole across Stella's face. "Don keeping you up at night?"

Danny rolled his eyes as he watched the cars and pedestrians passing outside. "His latest was creating a fake dating profile on the same site as me. I suppose you can guess where it went from there. He let it go for a week, before setting up a mock date in which I met 'Jane' at a bar last night. It was pretty lame, but I suppose your threat to him, and by extension, me, made us tone it down for the time being. That's not to say I won't have my own parting shot when I move out this weekend." He grinned at his own faint reflection in the mirror. Unfortunately, the taxi cab driver in the next car wasted no time in showing revulsion on his face and Danny quickly looked away, chuckling in spite of himself. "To Don's credit, he made a very believable woman, though. Too bad for him..."

Stella looked suspiciously over at Danny as they sat at the red light, though whatever was presently occupying his mind, he chose not to share. He only continued smiling with the twinkle of a manic gleam in his eye. Stella turned her eyes back to the road, but offered a quick prayer for Don's sanity.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: Because my inspiration took a slightly different turn as I was writing this, I can say that it will give one additional chapter to this story. With that being said, I think I am only down to two or three more chapters before the end. Wish me luck that I can finish this before my creativity skips out on me again. I never really realized how much the TV shows I watched inspired me to write. I say that now simply because I gave up watching all TV over the last year, including my beloved CSI:NY. I am thinking about starting a CSI:NY marathon tonight, though. If I spread it out long enough, I can get to the end of my currently owned seasons right when season eight comes out on DVD. As a plus for my readers, I've already gotten quite a ways into chapter 11, so hopefully it won't be too long until this chapter is followed by another.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: It's official! I need to get a massage everyday. It totally opened up my creative portal! So, I figured since I finished this chapter so quickly and so much time had passed between chapter 9 and chapter 10, I'd gift my readers with another chapter today. Two in one day! Lucky, lucky!**

**::~*~::**

"Don, this gentleman is here to speak with you."

He looked up from his work to see the precinct secretary, Stacy, walking a middle-aged man down the aisle towards him. The man wore a business suit, despite the heat of the day, and he carried a black briefcase in one hand and a file folder in the other. The folder he kept glancing at as he walked up the aisle towards Don. Having absolute strangers come into the precinct looking for him was nothing new, as it came with the territory, but Don had a bad feeling about this. He stood up and extended his hand to the man who was now standing before his desk as Stacy walked back up to hers.

The man hesitated for a fraction of a second before extending his hand in response. The shake was enthusiastic and the man, while beaming, looked surprised as well. Don's guard went up just a bit.

"Donald Flack Jr.?"

"Yes."

"I'm here for our two o'clock appointment."

His guard went up a tiny bit more. "Forgive me, but I don't recall expecting anyone at two o'clock." Don sat down and motioned for the man to do the same. The man placed his briefcase on the floor by his feet and the file folder on the desk in front of him. Don was a little unnerved to see his own name on the folder's tab.

The man looked around the crowded precinct and then turned back to smile at Don. He whispered across the desk, so as not to be overheard by those nearby, "I understand why you might feign ignorance at our meeting. I'm rather surprised you wanted to do it here in the open. From my experience, it might be better if we conduct this meeting in a more quiet place. Is there a room where we could move to?"

Don's guard didn't just increase a little more—it went through the roof! Starting to get annoyed at this cryptic conversation, he leaned forward and folded his arms stiffly on the desktop. "Sir, we aren't going anywhere 'more quiet.' I suggest you tell me now who you are and what you're doing here." Don's raised voice was earning him concerned looks and more attention than he preferred at the moment. His eyes never wavered from the man sitting across from him. Don didn't gain a reputation around the precinct and the CSI lab as a strong-arm for nothing. His icy stare complete with well-honed patience had served him well and so it continued to do so. The man suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"My name is Ryan Henderson. I'm a consultant with the True Colors clinic from Jersey. You had left a message last night about setting up a consultation this afternoon, here at your place of employment. It was a rather unusual request, but you called this morning to verify the appointment time."

Don's mind swam in confusion. It was true that he had had a little to drink last night, but he hadn't been anywhere near drunk...had he? Whether or not he could verify that, he knew for sure he hadn't made any calls to any clinic in Jersey this morning. Rubbing his hand over his eyes as though to wipe the confusion away, he looked back up at Ryan. "Let's say that I did contact you. What was this consultation for?"

Don realized at once he had said the wrong thing. To Ryan's ears, it sounded like Don finally confessed to both the calls and the appointment. Casting a hasty eye around the room, he looked quizzically back at Don. "Are you sure you want to stay out here?"

Don wasn't sure of anything anymore, but he refused to be alone in a room with the man. Shaking his head vehemently, he motioned for the man to continue. Most of the eyes in the room had gone back to what they were doing, but a few kept sneaking sideways glances at Don and his visitor.

Keeping his voice low, Mr. Henderson continued. "For starters, you must understand I am only a consultant. I can give you an overview on the procedure and answer a few questions, but before we can get you started on the pre-operation medication and therapy, you will need to come in and meet with one of our licensed physicians." He slid the folder across the table to Don. Don stared at it for a second before picking it up. _Physicians? Operations? _"The pamphlet on top gives basic information on the different procedures we offer as well as more detail about our facility. The packet underneath gives more detailed information about the specific procedure you had expressed interest in."

Even before he had opened the folder, a sinking feeling in his stomach gave him an idea of what he was going to find, and even who was responsible. Regardless of the fact that he felt he knew what to expect, he was still horrified when he pulled out the pamphlet. In bold letters across the front, it proclaimed, "True Colors: Mankind's Answer to Those Who Don't Feel at Home in Their Bodies." Don dropped the pamphlet and folder as though they had burned him. _Messer!_

**::~*~::**

Danny stepped off the elevator in Stella's wake, but veered off towards the break room. He had slept in significantly that morning, but being dragged all over the furniture store had taken its toll and he was ready for a nap. He mentally chastised himself for getting so soft. Naps were a luxury he couldn't really afford. Suppressing a yawn, he shrugged it off. He had two hours until his shift started, and nothing better to do. Yeah, he could have started early, but he really didn't want to. He was on the graveyard shift as it was.

Approaching the break room, he could see Adam sitting at one of the tables with his back to the door. _Poor kid,_ Danny thought. Ever since that embarrassing moment when Adam had caught Danny in the locker room, he had been quite visibly terrified to be in company with Danny since. Danny remembered a time a few nights before when Adam had been working in the trace lab late at night. Danny had come in to run some tests of his own. It had taken Adam five minutes before he had realized he was alone in the room with Danny. Danny suppressed a smile as he remembered how fast Adam had packed up and bolted from the room.

Opening the door, he strolled into the room, getting the desired response from Adam. He jumped off his chair and turned on his heels, preparing to make his escape. Unfortunately, neither he nor Danny had planned on another individual entering the room right after him. Adam bowled right into Mac and, upon realizing who it was, registered a look of horror upon his face. Stammering an apology, he sidestepped Mac and ran out the door.

Mac looked after him, dumbstruck, before turning back to Danny who had collapsed on the couch. "I'm a little worried about Adam. His performance isn't suffering at all, but he looks like he's been on edge lately. Has he talked to you at all?"

_On the contrary, he hasn't said a word to me in over a week._ "He hasn't said anything to me. Do you want me to find out what's going on?"

Mac seemed to consider the thought for a moment, before shaking his head. "He's got a three day weekend coming up for him. If he's not back to himself when he comes back, I'll talk to him then. I actually came in here for another purpose." He sat down in one of the plastic chairs clustered around the nearest lunch table. "I was rather surprised to see you already here, but I was informed by Stella that some furniture shopping you had been doing with her ran a little long and she didn't have time to take you back to Don's. I know your shift starts in two hours, but I was hoping you would be able to start now. Our team is stretched pretty thin at the moment and two more calls just came in. One more CSI at either scene would make things a bit easier for the team."

Danny looked longingly at the couch he was sitting on, but knew that he was going to say "yes." Mac had overlapped some time off for him with Adam still being off on Sunday, just so Danny could move into his apartment. Additionally, Mac had given Danny the morning off on Saturday so he could get started on the move. Basically, Mac had done everything in his power to make this move as easy as possible for Danny, and Danny knew that Aiden, Stella, and Mac himself were picking up the slack. In all fairness, Danny couldn't consciously say "no."

"Sure, boss. Where do you want me to go?"

Mac was saved from answering by Stella bursting through the door. "Hey, Mac! The DB in the Park? It's Senator Kiley's son. Chief Sinclair is blowing up my cell trying to find you to get some answers. We need to get over there now before Sinclair has a hernia." Without waiting for a response she hurried through the door and sprinted towards her office.

Mac swore before getting to his feet. He called over his shoulder towards Danny as he left the room, "Broadway and 36th. Luigi's Pizza Parlour. I'll have Don meet you there."

Danny had started following Mac but stopped dead in his tracks. About to protest to Don's presence, he started to call after Mac, but Mac was already out the door and hurrying to his own office.

_Suck it up, Messer! Don's not going to try anything while on scene._

**::~*~::**

Don was interviewing a witness outside the parlour when Danny pulled up. It took a great deal of effort to not grin like an idiot, especially while interviewing a distraught witness. Don had learned long ago that there were some cases he could emotionally distance himself from and others that beat against his ribcage, seeking entrance to his heart. This was one of the former times.

Don had left the precinct fuming shortly after getting rid of Mr. Henderson. He had felt that if he were forced to stay inside, amongst the whispers and looks of his colleagues, he'd probably shoot someone. Quickly fleeing the building, the fresh air had immediately done him some good and started clearing his mind. Pacing up and down the walk in front of the precinct, he had soon formulated the beginnings of a plan.

**::~*~::**

The coroner was carefully loading the body into the back of the van when Don walked up to Danny who was placing the last of his filled evidence bags into his kit.

"I gotta hand it to you, buddy. That was some joke on your part."

Danny slowly lowered and secured the lid of his kit before looking warily up at the tall detective standing over him. Slowly getting to his feet, he decided to play it cool. "You would make a pretty hot woman. I just thought I would give a gentle nudge in the right direction."

Don gave a low whistle. "'Gentle nudge,' eh?"

They started walking over to Danny's car, keeping pretty quiet. Danny didn't know how to respond to Don's last comment. Was Don baiting him for another prank or was he quietly fuming, waiting to attack at the right moment? Something had to be coming, otherwise Don would have taken off in his own car already instead of following Danny to his. It wasn't until Danny had put the kit in the backseat and opened the driver's door that Don spoke again.

"This whole prank war we've had going on, it's been fun. It gave me a taste of what it might have been like going to college and doing the whole frat thing with a bunch of guys."

"Yeah," Danny said, not sure where this was going. He really hoped Don wasn't getting emotional on him. An angry Don he could deal with, but not an emotional one.

"What do you say we call a truce? Laugh at all the memories we've created. As much as we say it won't, it's only a matter of time before it starts interrupting our work and then we'll really be in trouble. Should we call it?"

Danny was stunned. Everything Don had said was true, but he felt like the guy was giving up too easily, especially after he had just been humiliated in front of many of his colleagues only a couple of hours earlier. On the other hand, the stress of constantly being on the alert had long since taken its toll on him and he was actually tempted by the sound of truce.

"Seriously?"

"Absolutely. From this moment forward, no more pranks."

The two men shook hands firmly, sealing the deal.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: The end? Absolutely not! I still have one more chapter up my sleeve. I won't make any promises that it'll be the chapter to end all chapters with a prank that ends all pranks, but I'll do my absolute best to make it good. I already have the outline in mind. There may even be an epilogue as well, but I'm still entertaining that idea.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: It's kind of a boring start, but it will get a bit better (edited note: Now that I finished the chapter, I will say it's definitely not on par with some of the former chapters I've written, but I think it's a decent ending). I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but it seems like the character of Mrs. Mason (at least to me) is based off of the character of Mother Abigail from Stephen King's, The Stand (featuring our very own Mac Taylor! AKA…Gary Sinise). When I was writing Mrs. Mason's dialogue, I kept hearing Ruby Dee's voice in my head.**

**::~*~::**

While Danny had initially been skeptical of Don's sudden call for truce, he managed to make it to the weekend without any disastrous incidents. His friendship with Don had returned to its original glory and they had actually gone out the evening before to a sport's bar to eat, drink, watch the Rangers game, and attempt to pick up women. The picking up of women didn't actually work out so well, but neither guy had his heart in it. Both were content to enjoy the return of their friendship.

Danny coasted to a stop in front of an old, three-story brick building. Pulling off his helmet, he secured it to the bike and ran a hand through his "helmet hair" as he sized up the building in front of him. _Not just a building, though. My new home._ He smiled as he got off the bike and started up the front walk.

It was only by chance that he had found this place. At the beginning of the week, he had been called to a scene a few blocks away. It had been around lunchtime on Monday and when he had finished collecting his evidence he had stopped in this area at a deli right next door for a bite to eat. It was only when he had left the deli that he noticed the sign posted outside the apartment building advertising availability. Despite the crime scene only three blocks away, Danny knew that this area had a pretty low crime rate, compared with the rest of the city. Conveniently, it was also located closer to the lab, so he could cut down on the commute a little bit.

Caught in the predicament of getting the evidence back to the lab as soon as possible and wanting to check out the available apartment, Danny finally opted for running in to get some quick information and possibly setting up a time to view it later before heading back to work. Luck finally seemed to have been in his favor that day as the elderly landlady who owned the building actually lived in it as well, so he spoke briefly with her and she was kind enough to set up an appointment with him for that very evening when he got off work.

Now here he was, five days later, ready to pick up his key so he could start moving in before his shift began in the afternoon. Walking thru the door, he spied the landlady, a Mrs. Mason, in her little office with another individual. As there were no chairs to sit on in the hallway, Danny found himself a bare patch of wall to lean against. While he was only kept waiting for a few minutes, he managed to watch the comings and goings of a couple of tenants, even starting up a short conversation with a young man named Benjamin, a jazz musician at a local lounge who had immigrated to America from Germany four years before. In the course of the conversation, Danny quickly learned that Benjamin was going to be one of his next-door neighbors. When Benjamin learned he was talking to _his_ future neighbor, he assured him that Mrs. Mason had a noise ordinance in the building, so Danny wouldn't be kept up all night by the sounds of him practicing next door.

Mrs. Mason's guest departed, but instead of coming out to meet Danny, she putted around the room, poking under and around piles of papers on her little wooden desk. It wasn't until she came out a moment later that Danny saw his application in her hand.

"Mr. Messer," she greeted him with an outstretched hand. As he shook it, she greeted Benjamin as well and he cordially returned the salutation before bidding them both farewell. Looking back at Danny, she said, "Come in! Come in! You're right on time. Forgive me for dawdling. It's not very often my daughter gets out this way to see me. She works a hard job up in Bridgeport that gives her very little time off to come see her old mother."

Danny flashed her a broad smile. "Not a problem. I live in the same city as my mom, and it's still hard to find time to go see her." Once in her office, Danny sat himself across from her as she scanned the application that Danny had filled out earlier in the week.

"It says here you're a cop."

"Crime scene investigator." It was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"What's the difference?" She was staring at him now over the top of the paper. Danny didn't know why, but he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. It was the same look his mother used to give when she was trying to get the truth out of him. Except in those cases, he usually had just gotten into trouble over something. He didn't know why this woman he barely knew could have that same penetrating gaze that reduced him to a humbled child...

"It's a little more complicated than being just a cop, but essentially the same thing."

"Hmph." She went back to scanning before she set the paper down sharply on the desk. "I have some ladies that come over every Thursday night. My little weekly bridge club. I told them about the fine young man who was looking to rent from me. They wasted no time in advising me against letting you live here once they learned you were a cop. Said you would only bring trouble with you." Danny's heart sank in his chest. He had spent all week researching the neighborhood in more detail and fixing up the apartment in his mind's eye, and now it looked like it was going to be yanked away from him. Once they had gotten passed the pranking, Danny actually found he enjoyed rooming with Don, but, he still felt the yearning of a place to call his own. Some place he could decorate however he wanted. Some place he could leave dirty dishes in the sink without a care about how long they would sit there. Some place where he could leave his clothes in a pile on the bathroom floor and not worry about what anyone said. Trying not to look too upset, he tuned back into the conversation when he realized Mrs. Mason was watching him, silent as could be. "You tuned out just after I told you about what my bridge club thought, didn't you? Didn't hear a word I said about what _I_ thought, did you? Thought you were losing the apartment before you ever signed the lease?"

Danny's jaw dropped. Not knowing how to respond, he shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"I don't care what my bridge club thinks. I met you; they didn't. Contrary to what they think, I'd actually feel safer with you living here. Though, I do still see their point. As a cop, you can bring safety and security home with you…or you can bring trouble. You'll do everything in your power to leave your work _at _work?" The last was a question that required an answer.

Danny nodded vigorously. "Absolutely! If I feel any of my work will follow me home, I won't come back until it's safe." While it was rare, it wasn't unheard of. Grudges were formed against law enforcement daily, and there was the rare occasion that those seeking vengeance would act upon their feelings. Danny wasn't going to put innocent people in harm's way if he could help it.

Mrs. Mason beamed at him and slid the lease across the table.

**::~*~::**

Danny whistled as he started unpacking the first of many boxes he had brought from the storage unit he had had to rent after the fiasco at his former apartment. _Kitchen supplies._ Picking it up, he carried it into the kitchen, setting it down on a counter. He had been so fixated on getting everything packed and out of the apartment, he hadn't bothered to label anything.

An hour later, the boxes were divided up into the rooms they belonged in and Danny found himself back in the kitchen again. Checking the time on his phone, he was surprised to see he had missed a text message from Don asking if he needed any help later that night when he got off shift. Danny replied in the affirmative before closing his phone and tossing it back on the counter. Wanting nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep, he suppressed a yawn before turning to the pile of boxes on the kitchen counters. He had a lot to do and only until noon the following day to do it. At least he had the furniture delivery to look forward to. The insurance company had given him enough money to pay for new replacements on his dining room table set, his bed, and his stereo. Despite his hesitation, Danny realized Aiden had been right and he had even upgraded his television to a new model. Danny had finally decided to go the route of thrift store shopping for his coffee table and bookshelves as he didn't care if they were new or not and for those he would have to dip into his savings a little bit.

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he started pulling out cooking utensils and putting them away.

**::~*~::**

An insistent knock came at the door, jolting Danny to full alert. He found he was slumped over the kitchen counter, an assortment of kitchen utensils clutched in his hand. The knock came again and Danny jumped up, scattering the utensils across the counter. Leaping over a large box on the floor, he grabbed the doorknob and flung the door open.

Two moving men stood outside, looking impatient to be kept waiting, the large wooden frame of a king size bed propped up against the wall behind them, rather inconveniently blocking his neighbor's door across the hall. Quickly stepping aside, he allowed the burly men entrance, shoving boxes out of the way of their goal in getting his bed frame into his bedroom.

Leaving them to their work of setting it up where he directed, he went back to the kitchen to continue where he had left off.

The frame was quickly set up and the boxspring and mattress installed on top of it. Danny had just finished up with emptying two kitchen boxes when the guys came out of the bedroom and asked Danny where he wanted the table located. As it was a dining table and the dining room was obvious in its location within the apartment, Danny was a little confused by the question and just pointed at the large empty spot cleared out just for the table. The guys gave each other a weird look and took off out the door and down the stairs.

Convinced his sleep-filled mind was playing tricks on him, Danny just shrugged it off and turned back to the box in front of him. Tired of working in the kitchen, he moved into the bathroom to start putting stuff away in there. Ten minutes later, he heard the sound of the guys moving the table into the apartment, complete with a ton of grunting as they maneuvered it into place. Now Danny was thoroughly confused. Looking at the display at the furniture store, he would never have guessed that it could be so heavy. It was only wrought iron and glass with four matching chairs.

After a loud _thunk_ echoed through the apartment he hurried into the living room to see what was going on. His jaw dropped so fast, it almost set off the smoke alarm.

**::~*~::**

"Wha—? How? Whe—?" For whatever reason, he couldn't get the words out of his mouth the questions that, quite obviously, needed answering at this point. He made a few more random noises that resembled nothing close to the English language before finally finding his voice. "What is this?"

"It's what ya order'd, Mista Messer," one of the deliverymen answered, his voice thick with an Irish accent. He crossed his arms over his burly chest as if daring Danny to argue with him. Danny was too incensed with the situation to notice.

"This is _not _what I ordered!" Danny practically shouted. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I ordered the Urban 5-piece dining set."

Looking incredibly smug, the deliveryman pulled an invoice out of his pocket and gave it a quick glance. "It says here ya order'd the Catania Alabasta' Billiard Table." He was about to put the invoice back in his pocket when Danny held out his hand and demanded to see it. Sure enough, the invoice showed delivery of a king size bed with mattress and a billiard table.

"That's not what I ordered," Danny repeated, though the conviction from earlier was slowly fading. _Had a mistake been made?_ Spinning around, he went rifling through his lease papers in a kitchen drawer, sure that he had also put his copy of the invoice from the furniture store in there. The invoice the salesman had given him the day he had paid for everything.

Locating it, he whipped it out, prepared to defend himself against the fraudulent invoice the deliverymen brandished, only to have his breath catch in his throat. His copy also showed the bed and the billiard table.

"No, no, no, no, no..." he moaned. What had happened? He was sure he would have noticed if the order hadn't been right, right? The last few weeks were such a blur to Danny, he couldn't be convinced of that. "This isn't what I intended to order, so you have to take it back. We have to get this straightened out."

Before Danny was even done speaking, the deliverymen were both fervently shaking their heads. "We just hauled that thing all the way up two flights of stairs; there's no way we're taking it back down. The mistake wasn't on our end, it was yours. You should have caught it if it wasn't right. Now it's between you and the manager, and she's out for the day. Sign our manifest and let us leave."

Danny was on the verge of continuing to argue the point, but they were right. If the mistake had been when the sale had been going down, he should have caught it. Grudgingly he signed the delivery receipt and the men left. He closed the door behind them and leaned against it, spending the next several minutes just staring at the billiard table. He had to admit, it _was_ a nice table. He rubbed his eyes in frustration, cursing this huge mess he was in. _Now_ where was he going to put his dining table?

Accepting that there was nothing he could do about it now, he was about ready to toss the invoice on the counter, when something caught his eye. He picked up and looked at the itemized total for his order. Then he looked at the table and back at the invoice. This table was the exact price of the dining set he was supposed to have received. He looked at the table again. It was way too nice to have only cost six hundred dollars. It was quite obviously not a high end table, but it wasn't cheap either. He looked back at the invoice and noticed something else that started his blood boiling. His signature...wasn't _his_ signature! It was very close that anyone would have accepted it as his, but his CSI trained eyes picked out slight inconsistencies. It was a forgery.

He picked up his cell phone and was halfway through dialing the number to the furniture store when he stopped. _No, I'll go down there tomorrow and I'll figure out what on earth they're doing down there._ He was actually starting to relish the idea of a physical confrontation. He shook his head as a morbid smile crossed his face. He hadn't actually run down a suspect since before the flood in his apartment and he hadn't realized until just then how much pent up frustration and energy that expelled. He was overdue.

As he was passing the table on his way back to the bathroom to continue unpacking, a piece of paper sticking out of a corner pocket caught his eye. He had been so focused on the issue of the billiard table that he hadn't noticed it before. Pulling it out, he was even more surprised to see that it was actually a card with his name written on it—in block letters, so handwriting analysis was difficult—which further convinced him that this screw up wasn't his fault.

Ripping open the envelope, he pulled out the card, a cheesy "Congratulations on your new home" card, and flipped it open to the inside. What he saw almost brought him to crumple the card up and storm out of the apartment...with a specific destination in mind. Don's familiar scrawl covered the inside cover:

_Hey, buddy! As you've probably deduced by now, I had the last laugh, though a rather expensive one at that. _Danny almost wished Don were here so he could laugh right in his face at how much lighter his bank account was. _Before you storm out of your apartment on your way to murder me, I would like to state, for the record (and also testimonial against you at the murder trial), that this was in action before we made our truce. I really could not resist. However, as a peace-offering to ensure our truce is still in effect, I did want to let you know that this table was a gift, a housewarming gift, from myself and those at the lab. I suppose that means, in effect, that everyone was in on this last prank. It's yours to do with what you will. Cheers!_

_P.S. Your real dining set (excellent choice on that, by the way) will be delivered at 10AM tomorrow morning._

As angry as Danny would like to have been at that moment, the letter completely drained it out of him. While the initial discovery of a pool table in his apartment had shocked and angered him, apparently he had still come out on top—and gotten a really nice housewarming present out of it.

Unfortunately, it still begged the question of where to put it and Danny was left eyeballing his apartment with some trepidation.

**::~*~::**

Later that night...

Danny and Don were crashed on Danny's couch, beers in hand, watching the Rangers game on Danny's new flat-screen television. Don had shown up an hour earlier with Danny's new TV, a six-pack, and a large box containing all the stuff Danny had been using at Don's apartment. They had wasted no time in mounting the TV on the wall and adjusting the couch directly center with it. Don had been about to drop onto the couch, when Danny shook his head and motioned for Don to follow him.

"Since this is all your fault, you get to help me move it." Don looked apprehensively at the pool table that Danny was standing at one end of. "Now."

"Now?" Don questioned. "I'll admit to having some strength in me, but we're talking about a pool table here."

"It's not going up or down any stairs. Since you screwed up my desire to turn this den" he motioned with his head to the room off to one side that was open and empty "into a home theater, you at least get to help me turn it into a game room. Now, lift." He pointed to the end Don was supposed to get.

"So, I know you somehow got a fake invoice made with the cooperation of the store, but how did you get it into my kitchen drawer." Danny asked.

Don paused from his survey of his end of the pool table to look up at Danny. "Honestly, I had no idea you had it in your kitchen drawer. I just made the swap when you left it out on your desk at work." Danny's eyes screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember when that happened, but he gave up trying after a few seconds. Turning his attention to the table, he and Don started the grueling process of moving it to the den.

It took twenty minutes of hard work to maneuver the pool table into the den area, but they finally managed it. With beads of sweat pouring down their faces, they finally collapsed onto the couch and Don broke out the six-pack. Danny had decided long before Don had shown up that he was done unpacking boxes, so it left a fairly laid back evening for them, which Danny was actually grateful for. He had made a considerable dent during the day, but he was exhausted, especially after moving the table.

They had just started the third period in the game when a knock came at the door. Danny gave Don a quizzical sidelong glance, but Don shook his head. "I'm as clueless as you are." Instead of getting up, Danny hesitated, wondering if whoever was there would just go away. The knock came again.

It took all of his strength, but he managed to extract himself from the couch. Upon opening the door, he was taken aback to see Mac standing there. He held up a gift bag, though when Danny reached for it, Mac held it back.

"You take this with the strict understanding that no more prank wars will come anywhere near my lab, nor will they involve any of my employees." Mac's face was so dead serious that Danny's heart jumped into his throat. He nodded in reply and Mac handed over the gift bag—and a long, narrow wrapped box that had been leaning against the outer wall of the apartment. "Now, are you gonna invite me in to catch the rest of the Rangers game, or what?"

**::~*~::**

Danny lifted the box up onto the pool table, scattering the billiard balls into the pockets. Mac's gift the evening before had been the balls and the cue sticks, and, after the Rangers game had ended, they had each taken a turn at breaking in the new set. _Who would have thought that Mac was a closet billiards master?_ They hadn't played for much, just a pool of twenty a person, which had walked out the door with Mac. All in all, Danny was glad for the gift. He enjoyed his fair share of playing, and now that he had his own table, he could work at improving his game.

Unfortunately, none of that mattered at the moment. Right now, Danny was focusing on locating his toothbrush and toothpaste from the box of his personal effects that Don had brought with him. Poking through the box, he located them, along with the gift bag that Kourtney had given him the last time he saw her. Realizing he hadn't actually looked inside, he decided it was overdue. He reached inside and pulled out a cute, fluffy teddy bear with a navy blue ribbon around his neck. His hands closed involuntarily around the bear's neck, but he loosened his grip. As much as Don's antics were trying his patience, the bear was from Kourtney, a gift she didn't have to give him. He was about ready to set the bear aside and finish getting ready for his shift in a few hours, when something about the bear caught his eye, writing on the parts of the ribbon hanging down in front of the bear's stomach. Bringing it closer to his face, he noticed the light gold embroidery spelled out Kourtney's name on one side and a phone number on the other. He smiled.

**::~*~::**

**A/N: That's it. The end. It took just over a year, but I finally finished it. And Danny got his pool table! Holy cow! When I looked up the price of billiard tables online, the cheapest I found was around $1500. The idea behind Danny getting his table was that it was probably a gently used one the gang found and then they paid the furniture store some extra cash to make a fake invoice as well as deliver it. There wasn't an opportunity to work it in, but I didn't think it really mattered where it came from. Congratulations to afrozenheart for correctly determining Kourtney's gift. In fact, I think she was the only one to make an attempt at it. Additionally, I had entertained the thought of doing an epilogue for this story, but I am out of ideas and I feel this story just needed to end. If anything changes, it'll pop up at the top of the CSI:NY list, but I'm not holding my breath. Thanks everyone for your reviews! You're all wonderful! **


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